Day 2: Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.

Happiness is a form of courage... amidst all my homework that I haven't yet completed today (I have four assignments left due by 11:59 p.m. tonight. Thank God we got an extra hour today!) I sit down to write this new post about a day or moment when being single really sucked. Here we go!

Being single is actually something I'm no longer bothered by for the most part because I've just accepted that it's not because I'm any less worthy of love than any other person but because it's not yet the time for me to be in a relationship.

Yet, recently I had a really off day filled with insecurities and self-doubt, and being single really sucked because on days like that, you just want someone to tell you that they love you for who you are and you are enough for them. No, I don't get upset about being single on Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve, or even Christmas. It's usually days that happen out of the blue for me because after all, I am human and suffer from personal insecurities.

On this particular day, I was feeling the immense pressure of starting my three last classes. I spent the last two days doing homework and I was just not feeling up to doing any of it because well, there were particular circumstances that were making me feel a bit down in the dumps (being unemployed, still owing Saint Leo, still awaiting my financial aid to be released, being in a fight with my younger sister and not speaking to her). Instead of making up with me, I watched as she constantly was talking to her boyfriend on the phone about her whole day and I felt a little sad. My sister is far from perfect and yet she has a boy who is head over heels in love with her. Why not me? I've got a lot of love to offer. Basically, it was all based off me feeling lonely due to my circumstances.

So, after crying for a little while and getting nothing accomplished, I finally realized I had a free Redbox code and my dad had yet to see The Fault In Our Stars so I rented it for us to watch because I knew watching Hazel and Augustus's love story (although short-lived) would comfort me because Augustus Waters is like the ideal guy even if he had one leg due to terminal cancer. Everything about his personality and the way he fought for Hazel and never left her side are the ideal traits I hope to find in the guy I end up with because my past lovers have not at all measured up and well, I deserve to love and be loved in return by a great guy out there. (Fingers crossed that guy is Zac Efron. Haha just kidding).

 Me with no-makeup

 Me wearing my new make-up which blends well with my tan ( I wear Maybelline Dream Wonder Powder Foundation in Nude). 

Ultimately, this day just showed me that being single only sucks if you let external distractions convince you that you are not worthy or beautiful enough to be loved, and if you are reading this right now, and single, that is completely untrue and should not even be a thought you toss back and forth inside your head. You are worthy and beautiful enough to be loved. And you deserve to learn to love yourself first before anyone else does.♥

Before I go, shoutout to SuperLux for nominating me for the Leibster Award for blogging. I'll be posting my acceptance soon.

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea 

xoxo

God Bless

~Just Keep Swimming~

Over a year later, 30 Day Blog Challenge Day 1: Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”

Happiness is a form of courage... I feel that I've matured over the past year and I don't mean that to sound braggy but honestly, I've finally connected so many internal dots. I believe the only reason this maturity has occurred is because I was open-minded in bettering myself. That is the whole reason I wanted to do this 30 Day Blog Challenge again. So with that said, let me answer this question with my fresh perspective.

Relationships take work. I know this because I've put a lot of overzealous effort into many friendships and I always feel that I end up with nothing to show for it in return but recently, I've accepted this as something that is ok because I've finally learned how to overcome this. Ultimately, I just understand that if you are putting in all the work when it comes to a friendship or relationship, it isn't meant to last and you have to let it go. Relationships take work and ultimately, I'm way too busy with school to make it my primary focus right now. I literally don't have free time anymore. I am officially a full-time student and I'm actually lucky I made time to post this blog but I don't have the time to date right now.

Relationships take financial stability. No one is attracted to the homeless bum you pass on the street corner with the sign that reads IN NEED OF WORK. Why aren't they attracted to him? First off, his hygiene game is definitely not on point, and secondly, he has way too much free time(he's unemployed) and he has no means to take me out on a date(riding public transit is not riding in style) or any fiscal responsibility (he can't buy me anything from Tiffany's or let alone a hairbrush to comb his hair). In the same way, no one wants to date the homeless bum, no one wants to date a person with no motivation. Currently, I'm unemployed so I don't want to be a free loader and date someone who always has to pay for me. I do believe in male chivalry but I don't believe that the guy should always pay and as someone who is uber generous, I'm a big gift giver so if I have no moola, you will get nothing but love from me.

Lastly, if I had to use an elevator pitch (sorry for the marketing term) as to why I'm still single, it would be this: I'm too busy learning to love myself and getting to know myself better to worry about whether or not anyone is in love with me.  Oh and I'm pretty happy spending time with Jesus to be concerned about any guy(good-looking or not) right now. Does that mean I'm not interested in dating at all? Of course I'm interested if the right person comes along, I have a few crushes currently but nothing that is worth pursuing because of circumstances right now, but I trust God and his timing won't be one second late.

If you'd like to read my post from last year, go right ahead. Why I'm Still Single(And Loving It).

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea 

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

New VLOG

Happiness is a form of courage... I know it felt like forever since you heard my voice and seen my face in action but do not fear...a new VLOG is here :)


Stay tuned. 30 Day Blog challenge starts Saturday.

My Video entry for the Dr. Pepper Tuition Giveaway♥

Happiness is a form of courage...

Here's the video I submitted for the Dr. Pepper Tuition Giveaway:

Now you guys know a little bit as to why I want to become a publicist. I don't think celebrities are treated fairly. All their dirty laundry gets aired out for everyone to see, and some of it, is falsely labeled as theirs. As someone who was personally bullied throughout much of grade school years, I want to fight for the underdog, and help celebrities gain their voice back. No one deserves to be bullied no matter WHO they are.♥

Until next time, keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.- Mark Twain♥

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea 

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

The Reality of God's Grace♥

Happiness is a form of courage... It seems like I've been stuck in the middle for a while. While I lived at Saint Leo, I was stuck in the middle of nowhere; while I'm finishing my degree from home I'm stuck in the middle of I want it and I got it, and while in the middle of finishing my current memoir, I'm in the middle of this book is destined for greatness and will I ever achieve the dreams I see floating in front of me like unspoken words.

     I have nothing but good news for you in this blog so you might want to take a seat for this one. (Oh right, you're already sitting). First off, I finally got everything straightened out about finishing my classes this semester. The whole reason my financial aid was cut was because I wasn't considered a full-time student but as of October 20th, I will be. I get to finish my degree by taking my remaining three classes: Integrated Marketing Communications, Marketing Policies, and to finish off my IHT minor, Management of Human Resources. This will only leave my PR internship (mostly with a publicity agency or the like) for me to complete next semester (fingers crossed and prayers up, I get one this time). It turns out that it's all about talking to the right person and I finally did.

    I'm so excited because so far in my current online class(although it was a rough start to get back into the swing of studying and the material was a little dry), I'm doing so good in there. I currently have a 90% and only have one more week left. I literally got 100% on my midterm. That hasn't happened in the longest time.

   The only downside to being registered for three more classes is that I'm not sure I will be getting enough financial aid to cover the complete cost of the three classes. I managed to spend $215 on my course materials (shoutout Mom and Dad for saving the day there) and I still have a payment left on my current payment plan of $226. Unfortunately, the job situation is slowly turning around but I still have not received any calls for interviews for the seven different places that I applied to that were hiring. Don't worry, I'm not asking anyone for any more donations because it's obvious no one I know is willing or able to help me. Let me just say that being unemployed is hard enough on anyone but it is extremely hard when you are [this] close to finishing your education and struggling to afford it. It really can make you want to give up but guess what, I'm taking a stand right now and letting all my haters know that I will not give up. Not now; not ever ♥

     For instance, the other night I was a little unsure of how I was going to pay for my textbooks because I've been paying for most everything I needed since I was ten years old, and now that I've been unemployed nearly six months, while bills from school, doctors, labs, etc, come in, I had no choice but to ask my parents to loan me more money. I felt completely alone because at times, it feels like no one understands how hard this complete dependence is on me. Yet, one of my friends from the Single Woman Crew talked it out with me and prayed, and I just ended up putting my trust back in God. Shoutout to Nicole H. aka (@Ms_ShininLight. Clearly, it worked out perfectly because I got all my books ordered.

On a similar note, I found out that the majority of the Dr. Pepper tuition giveaway has little to do with the amount of votes I get from social media but instead has everything to do with the video I submit, so I already wrote out what I'm going to say, I just have to memorize it and record it. Hopefully, I can share the video here after it's finished but I don't know how that works since I'll be recording it from my sister Jayde's Iphone. Very thankful for that because having to win a scholarship where I was vowing to show others nothing is impossible by votes alone was a bit of a pressure cooker.

 My health is doing much, much better. My level of my levothyroxine had to be adjusted but I take 50 mcg 6 days a week and 75 mcg one day a week. Other than that, I started taking St. John's Wort again so my serotonin levels should start to regulate back to normal, and I can go back to being my upbeat self again.

   Yet, the other night when I felt alone, the Holy Spirit came to comfort me in the natural form of a letter from Creflo Dollar. This is what spoke to me (hopefully it speaks to you too):

      "Contrary to what you've been told, God helps those who can't  help themselves. Every successful thing that's ever happened in your life was because of God's grace! It was His 'super' on your 'natural' that empowered you to excel, succeed and prosper. When God's grace directs what you're endeavoring to accomplish, your "doing" becomes effortless. I urge you to remain true to the seeds you have planted from God's word. You've come too far this year in your journey toward total-life prosperity to give up, cave in, or quit! As a born-again Believer, know that God is always with you, which means you have the root to all prosperity and successful living on the inside of you. ... Don't look at your circumstances as the measure of how well God's Word is working."♥ Powerful stuff, right? Then he said this, and my whole being was rocked by well The Rock, "I believe you're already seeing results. But it's not over."♥

Praise God! No matter how bad it looks, no matter how uncertain I feel, God is working for my good, and to bring his victorious plan for my life to pass to not only prove that nothing is impossible but to show literally everyone (lovers, supporters, haters, the peanut gallery, etc, believer, unbeliever alike) that JESUS IS LORD and there is nothing more encouraging than the testimony of a changed life♥

Speaking of blessings, my parents recently bought two new cars.

My mom got a 2013 Kia Sorrento. Way more roomier than the Rondo. Adios clown car! 

Then Jayde got a 2010 Toyota Yaris (which is funny because she wanted a Toyota Prius).

At first, I was a little miffed that my parents got Jayde a car and not me but despite the day I got my license being one of the best days of my life, I realized I wasn't fully ready at the time to get my license. (I'm kinda a diva that way. I like being driven around, cooked for, etc) but it doesn't mean I'm helpless because " a woman is only helpless when her nail polish is drying."

Anywho, as most of you may or may not know, I rescinded my license so that my parents wouldn't have to pay extra on their insurance although I didn't have a car at the time. (Once again, I chose to help my parents out instead of myself)

 Jayde finally got her license this past Tuesday. 

I'm so grateful that my sister can drive me around now because she already said anywhere I want to go, she is willing to drive me. Thank God because I already need to go to Saint Leo to get my Microsoft Office program upgraded. haha

We've had some really nice weather here in sunny Florida recently so I've been spending a lot of time soaking up the sun

I was recently asked to write an article about college life for a website aimed at helping high school students better understand what college is really like. I wrote an article entitled Avoiding Roommate Conflict

I won't be blogging again until November 1st because I'm planning on doing the 30 day blogging challenge again and seeing how my views have changed.

Until next time, remember: "The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible - and achieve it, generation after generation." -Pearl S. Buck♥

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

What It Means To Truly Have Faith: A Night Of Joy Story♥

Happiness is a form of courage... Hello family and friends, I'm sure you've been waiting for an update on what has become of me since there seemed to be a lot of talk about feeling hopeless and also a lot of struggle that seems to always present itself to me. Let me tell you. This blog is no longer going to talk about that.

I've found a new perspective thanks to a vacation that at first was forced upon me. As a family, we all wanted to attend Night of Joy since we hadn't attended since 2011, and as you already know, life really has happened to me since. Yet, Jayde has found a new love for God recently and she really wanted us to go because this year, one of her favorite worship groups was going to be there. The Australian internationally known worship group Hillsong United. Because her determination would not waver, Jayde went and purchased two tickets as a birthday gift to my mom. My mom wasn't very happy about it at first because beside the event ticket, the cost of food, lodging, and gas were not included. Yet, once Jamie and I also purchased our own tickets, it was official that we were going.
I knew that God found a way for us to buy the tickets, he really wanted us present at this event.

Lo and behold, my mom ended up having enough Starpoints for one night's stay at the nearest Sheraton hotel that was four miles away from the Magic Kingdom where the Night of Joy takes place. I think my mom really found comfort in this because she started becoming a little excited for our short vacation to worship Jesus in the happiest place on Earth. It's obvious God took care of all the little details so we could have a night of fun and worship. Thank you God♥

I'm not really sure how much my family members needed the getaway but I sure did. At the pool once we got to the hotel, I started to cheer up as I was soaking up the sun and sitting reading my book. Then, it was nice to finally get to know my mom's cousin Jeanie. Her and her son Jason accompanied us by the pool, went to lunch with us at Olive Garden, and helped us maneuver the Disney parks like no other.

Before I get to the actual Disney experience, let me give you some illustrations:

 Two Polish beauties♥

Once inside the park, we had a lot of perks thanks to the fact that Jeanie goes to Disney a lot and has an annual pass. She also had the app on her phone that tells you which rides have little to no wait so we breezed through the park like professionals.

First we visited the Haunted Mansion ride, then rode the Buzz Lightyear ride,  visited Carousel of Progress  attraction, rode the Winnie the Pooh ride, and visited the Mickey's Philharmonic attraction. Overall, it was fun to basically visit attractions we usually pass by when we visit the Magic Kingdom.

Then, as of 7p.m., only guests with Night of Joy wristbands were allowed in the park and Night of Joy officially began.

Mom and I went to the Building 429 concert while Jayde and Jamie ventured around the park attempting to ride more rides. They rode Space Mountain, the teacups, and Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. Rain poured on our heads like there was no tomorrow. Yet, we stood there and just worshiped the man himself, Jesus♥ 

Surprisingly, the rain did not let up for a good three hours. Not through the whole Building 429 concert, not through Matt Maher 's set, but not until about 9:30 that night. It was funny but when we both met up for a snack break, we ended up finding out we all were watching Matt Maher's set even though we were separated. Haha how ironic is that. Anyway, that's what true faith is right? True faith is standing in the rain, looking at Jesus and knowing that you will not be overtaken despite what stormy circumstances are happening in your life. This too shall pass. All metaphors aside, standing in the physical rain is not a good idea because it's not healthy. It really is true that you do get sick for playing in the rain but I'll get to that later. 

Speaking of rain, please read the collaboration blog my friend Jazmine and I did on her blog about depression.

Back to Night of Joy, once we fueled up on good ole Disney french fries, chlorinated water, and coffee, we were ready for round two of Night of Joy. Mom and I joined Jamie and Jayde for another round of the Buzz Lightyear ride, and then got in line for Mandisa's concert. Mandisa was an American Idol finalist on the fifth season of the show and she didn't win but she obviously won in terms of destiny because now she uses music and song to bring hope to millions around the world, as long as spreading the good news of the gospel. Mandisa's set was non stop Jesus Freaking. The entirety of her set was spent dancing and jumping around. Sidenote: all the Night of Joy concerts are standing room only if that wasn't obvious. It was awesome but during her performance of Good Morning, she suprised the whole crowd with a guest performance by American Idol Season 8 finalist Danny Gokey. who sang his new single, Hope in Front of Me.

The night before I went to night of Joy I literally wrote in my journal: I need a definite sign that things are going to be better than all right... they will be amazing again! I mean, I'm not a robot and I'm sure as heck not a normal twenty-three year old but despite all the battle scars I have and the struggles I've yet to encounter, I always keep my faith turned up high. Yet, because I'm human and am fully capable of reaching my limit, I did find myself feeling a bit hopeless before Night of Joy. I had forgotten that the joy of the Lord was meant to be my strength and that I am a prisoner of hope. (See Nehemiah 8:10 and Zechariah 9:12)♥

During Mandisa's set, she spoke about the fact that lately she'd been tweeting some encouraging things and felt that there was someone here tonight who needed encouragement. She went on to say, "I don't know what you are going through right now, whether good or bad, but I do know that you feel like you are hopeless. I'm here to tell you tonight that it's going to get better." ♥

I couldn't stop crying as she said that and I looked over and my mom was also crying. Talk about being in God's presence. It was just another powerful moment that I am so grateful God got me right where I was meant to be just so that he could knock me off my feet with that love letter of a message. Nothing truly is impossible with God.

After Mandisa, we lined up for the For King & Country concert which took place at 12:10 a.m. By that time, our feet were in so much pain but we lived through it and they took the stage and opened with Fix Your Eyes. It was amazing. I was awed by how good they were in concert. They even came out into the audience and shook people's hands and everything. It was amazing. I really liked their song they wrote for their friend during his battle with depression. It encouraged me greatly. 

Saturday night, Mom and I watched the Night of Joy online since it was live streaming for the first time ever since the whole weekend was completely sold out. Saturday night's lineup was amazing with Mercy Me, Colton Dixon, Casting Crowns, and Britt Nicole in concert.

Overall, Night of Joy was an amazing experience and since then, life has been a bit less chaotic in it's own right despite the fact that I still have financial struggles with paying for school and no employment or that I ended up with a cold throughout most of this week. Yet, I still haven't heard from financial aid regarding the status of my two scholarships but somehow $138 was given to me toward my current Saint Leo bill so my monthly payment is down to $88. God is so good. Now I just have to come up with the money to buy the other textbook I need this semester but I don't have a care about it because I know God will provide.♥

My confession continues to be I believe God and will see his glory.

Until next time, remember: It's not over yet. And as far as having faith goes, religion will not save you. Not Catholicism, not Buddhism, not Islam. Only Jesus saves. Only Jesus died so you could live.♥

When you’re all out of heart and out of hope 

And you don’t really know which way to go 

Come on, come on, run to Jesus 

If you’re lost and you don’t know where to start 

It don’t really matter where you are 

Come on, come on, come on, yeah, run to Jesus, run to Jesus - Francesca Battistelli, Run To Jesus♥

Love Times Infinity, 

Chelsea 

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

Enjoy these pictures of Katrina and Hazel showing their Disney side haha.

Nothing is Impossible with God (Matthew 19:26)

Happiness is a form of courage... Today, I am writing because it seems that once again, I have to fight for my right to a college education.

Because of the fact that I am only taking 6 credits (which I was forced to because I was only given dean approval for two online classes, because to take four at the same time would mean the school would only get $250) my financial aid is being cut in half so I will only be getting $2542 when my classes for the semester cost me $3120. I still owe them $452 for my current payment plan.

This all feels like an incredible pressure because I will not get my need-based grants and scholarships based solely on someone else's decision. I am not able to live on campus taking less than 12 credits anyway so this is the reason I don't still live on campus (along with the fact of refusing to take on-campus marketing classes because I don't do well in them). Living on campus though was the only reason I had a job because I had work-study and worked at the library. I have not found a job all summer in my area because according to different sources, I am either too qualified for minimum wage work or not qualified enough.

Despite this whole struggle, I want everyone to know that nothing is impossible. This whole things just proves that God is the only source. I've watched God pay college tuition bills totally almost $10,000 altogether so I know that this $1230 I need to be debt free will be chump change for him. After all, he is the King of Kings. Where God gives vision, he always provides provision.

The only thing that hurts is the plans I had for the refund money I was thinking I would get. One plan was to get another laptop with video editing software on it and a camera so I could shoot a really awesome video for the Dr. Pepper Tuition Giveway. The girl in the lead right now has over 1000 votes so I really have some tough competition.

Ultimately, I just want everyone to know that I still believe nothing is impossible with God. I still believe God and I know I will see his glory.

This morning, I woke up and wrote a poem about all the difficulties that presented themselves before me yesterday. I called it R.I.P.

R.I.P.

To my friendship with you

covered in black and blues 

from all the abuse

it's a shame 

you lost a friend

so tried and true.

To my fears and doubts

I will tie them up; lock them up

They will not get out

To poverty, sickness, addiction, and lack

Christ

won the smack

down for each of these things

when he died on a tree.

He went to hell and suffered 

unimaginable pain

just so I could have life more abundantly

meant to be lived

more courageously,

fearless and brave.

Jesus approached me last night

and said,

Child, where is your faith?

He holds the keys 

to death and the grave

and says,

Friend, you can do all things through me.

Now, I must believe in God and the manifestation of his glory.

Today, I was reading my Joyce Meyer magazine and there was an article by one of her long-time employees about doing it afraid and it spoke to me in a new way: Don't ever let fear keep you from your destiny. It may not be easy, but God will be right there to meet you along the way.

So all I ask of anyone reading this is three things:

Don't lose hope (for me or anyone else) ever.

Keep voting for the Dr. Pepper scholarship for me (see above link)

Donate here if you would like to help me in any way while I continue to look for a job and apply for scholarships.

Until next time, remember: Jail didn't make me find God; he's always been there. They can lock me up but my spirit and my love can never be confined to prison walls.-Lil Wayne♥

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~