Day 7: Where you are in your life right now vs. where you thought you would be at this point

Happiness is a form of courage...My life right now isn't perfect. Yet, that's the beauty of it all. If you can find contentment in the imperfect, then life isn't as hard as it seems.

Personally, at this point, I would have hoped to have had a boyfriend by now. I mean, what single lady hasn't fantasized about the perfect relationship and probably went even further and had a few guys in mind she'd like to have that perfect relationship with. I mean, there's no denying that I've wanted a relationship so bad in my life that it's all I ate, breathed, thought, and talked about. Yet, you know what I realized. When you want something so bad that you become obsessed with it, that's when God distances that thing from you. Why? Because no PERSON or THING is ever meant to be our main purpose in life. Our main purpose in life is to honor, cherish, and love God and to trust that whatever he has meant for us, he will send our way, and whatever he doesn't have meant for us he will take away. It's all about whether or not that person or thing is MEANT to help us on this journey toward our divine destiny of becoming the person God wants us to be.♥

Therefore, I'm basically ok with that aspect of my life. When the time is right, LOVE will come for me.

Another thing about my life now is that I had wanted to be a successful author by now so I really did not have to finish college. Yet, I see now, why I had to attend college specifically Saint Leo University, why I had to go to college thinking I was going to graduate with an accounting degree, and am now a marketing major. I understand why I must be a marketing major instead of a English major.

1. There was no way my writing when I published my first novel would have lasted in a long-term career simply because now that I've had the chance to study the industry, the craft, and the overall process of writing, I feel as though my writing has matured in a way that will entice more eyes and ears to the subjects that live in my heart, and hopefully will in turn become something that lives on way past my lifetime.♥

2.  I let God lead me to Saint Leo University and I've basically tried and tried to transfer out of here but God has me staying put. If I never would have gone to Saint Leo I may not have made the friends I did or become the person I am today. It really is true. You do love the person you become here.♥

3. The whole career crisis/ major change I've experienced is all really apart of the college experience. There is basically not one person that graduates from college knowing exactly what they want out of a career. If you are one of those blessed people, congrats to you. Yet, I'm glad I've experimented with a few different avenues to find what I'm meant to do because if I never would have taken Principles of Marketing, I never would have realized this was my field, and if I never stuck with marketing, and changed to English, I would have never realized that being a publicist is the perfect career for a writer like me. It's creative and leader-oriented, independent, and exciting. I'm a colorful person and I can't settle for black and white anything. Especially when it comes to my life career.♥


So yeah, my life isn't perfect but it's perfect for me at this point because God has a reason for everything that has happened to me so far in my life and I see a lot of the whys behind those reasons now, and I can honestly say my life story is so beautiful.

If you want a beautiful life story too, you should consider talking to Jesus. He's an expert artist. He can turn your black and white world into a masterpiece if you let him. All you have to do is ask him into your heart. Yet, more importantly, life isn't what it seems. It's really all about how you look at it and your attitude towards it that makes the ultimate difference.

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

Day 6: "Every woman has the love life she wants"

Happiness is a form of courage...Nope not true. Every woman has the love life she needs. If we got everything we wanted in life, I suppose there would be no use for a loving and merciful God. Yet, because this world is so full of cold, bitter loss, we all are in need of love and who better to look to than Love himself.

I'm going to tell you that I don't want the current love life I have right now. I want to be married to my dream guy. Yet, I guess there's a reason I am not married to him right now and I think I have an inkling as to why that is:

1. I'm not done learning to love my imperfections. I'm still in the process of learning to love myself. As a kid, I had low self-esteem and I've tried to commit suicide more than once so basically I didn't like myself. Yet, now, I'm learning to see me for who I am and loving that person but it's still a process. I don't wake up every day and automatically feel like I can conquer the world (although I should since Jesus already did it for me) but I'm learning to love the person that God says I am.

2. I'm still learning to accept the love I lost and embrace the life-long friendship I gained. He was my first love and basically, I will never truly be able to unlove him but thankfully, he still is involved in my life and one of my best friends and I thank God for that every day because he's helped me overcome a lot in my life and the only way I know how to repay him for that is by loving him unconditionally.

3. I'm still figuring out how to handle life like a grown up. Life really is hard sometimes especially lately for me. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do in life simply because they are the right things to do. For example, I really don't want to ever go back to my marketing (IMC) class but because I know I need this credit to graduate and I'm trying to set a healthy example for girls my age and younger of being strong and carrying on, I'm going to go back even if that kid in my group talks smack to me.
There's just a part of me that always wants to do the immature thing and run away from what scares me instead of confronting it and the only way to get rid of fear is to face it so I know it's something I must do.
There's just another part of me that wishes I did college differently. I wish I took online classes. I wish I pursued my passion and majored in writing. I wish I stayed focused and didn't let love distract me from my goals. Yet, although I wish for all these things, there is nothing I can do to go back and correct them. And, if I had taken online classes, I never would have made the life long friends I have met here, and I probably wouldn't be the person I am today, let alone alive. So I thank God for how my life has turned out so far and know that he has my best interests at heart, and ensures me an even BETTER FUTURE.

So maybe that didn't exactly sound off on the quote but all I know is that I may not always like being single but I love being single simply because for right now, it's perfect for me.

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

Day Five: The biggest misconception about the single life

Happiness is a form of courage...Hey you! Yeah, you. That girl who's so happy in love but crying...why do you settle for less when you were meant for something greater.

I believe there are many misconceptions about being single that need to be set straight but I'm going to try and cover the biggest ones.

1. Being single means your lonely.

I'm not going to lie. Being single can be lonely at times but it's not a big pity party 24/7. At least not for me. I've loved being single so far in my life and I wouldn't trade this time back for a relationship at all. Being single has allowed me to find myself and find peace in God's presence and allow me to look to Him for all that I need, not a man. And in the long run, that's going to help me because if you don't learn to rely on God early on, life can become really rough. I mean, life is hard regardless but with God, it's possible.♥

2. Being single means you never like to go out

Well, I guess this is kind of true on my end, because the only way I get around is through friends and family. Yet, I love getting all dolled up and going out. Matter of fact, I've been waiting for one of my friends to offer to take me clubbing or out dancing because I'm over 21, and thankfully I finally had a friend ask me. Yet, I think most people out there (most of those being in a relationship of their own) picture all of us single people just being so alone, sitting on the couch, eating carton after carton of Ben and Jerry's watching movies like The Notebook or Titanic and thinking we will never have what they themselves have. They're wrong. We have something better. We have learned to like ourselves before getting into a relationship which only means we will end up in healthier relationships when the time does come for one.

Personally, I have a few friends who aren't single who I actually feel sorry for. Why? Well, they are in relationships that I can tell they want out of but have settled because they don't know how to be alone or independent. To them, my day to day life looks like a nightmare. Yet, I'm going to tell you. My day to day life is pretty sweet. I don't have to have anyone's permission but my own to go anywhere, do anything, say anything. I'm only living to please myself and God and that is the best feeling in the world. So all my non-single friends who always say things toward me out of pity can STOP because I'm not going to stop being anything less than SINGLE and FABULOUS.♥

Another reason why I actually pity my friends who are in long-term relationships and/or married is because most of them are my age or younger and they are ready to settle for keeping that relationship for the rest of their lives. Yet, being that they are so young, I feel as though they haven't lived. I don't know if it's just how I was raised or it's just me personally but I was taught growing up that a woman should go out and do something great with herself and her life and then when she does that and is happy with it, she can invite a man to join her on her journey. For me, I just feel like I want to make the most out of being single before I get hitched and knocked up.

I want to graduate from college.
I want to publish my newest novel and change lives with it.
I want that same novel to be nothing less than a bestseller.(I mean, I'm not putting all this work into it, just so it sits on bookstore shelves and then becomes discontinued.)
I want to be able to pay in full for a car and a house of my own.
I want to travel with my sisters and see the world.
And the list goes on....
Mostly, I just want to be so in love with Jesus that the man that finds me finds me through Him.♥

So stop patronizing us single people all you non-single, married people. We don't need your pity. What we do enjoy is your friendship and support as we venture out in this big wide world on our own, and probably on a mission of doing something great. So instead of handing us boxes of tissues. Salute us because we are strong enough to stand alone and not feel lonely all the time.

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea 

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

Day Four: Your Biggest Fear as a Single Person

Happiness is a form of courage...What do I fear? Mostly, fear itself but I guess that's a little vague. Being that I've been single even while my own younger sister has been dating since the age of twelve, my biggest fear is that I'm meant to stay single and that scares me and here's why.

It's not the idea that I may be single forever that scares me. It's the fact that I know how loving of a person I am and I believe I was made to love someone with all the love that I have. Sometimes I feel I have so much love within me that it's the reason I fall apart so easily. I have so much love that I have enough for two people.

Yet, maybe that's the point. Not that long ago, I asked God to give me His love to love others with and I know that's what he did because ever since that day, I feel like I'm a real beacon of love, light, and everything warm and good. It's overwhelming at times but I asked for it so I can't complain.

I actually was just talking to a dear, dear friend of mine about this the other night. I said how much I feel as if I'm constantly chasing people. Lately, it feels that way. I sow all this love toward my friends and they only meet me halfway. His advice: Being loving and sweet toward people is "the best way to be." Yet, I should just "have friends and hang out but just don't do the chasing." I have a feeling he thought I was talking about romance.

Maybe in a way I was because here I am confessing how much I'm afraid to stay single forever when actually my biggest fear is being in a relationship with someone.

It's the whole opening myself up to someone who is a total stranger who eventually becomes your friend and then one day you want to kiss this person. Then, years later, you can't imagine your life without this person in it. You want to see them all the time. You wake up with them on your mind. You fall asleep with a thought of them playing in your head as a smile plays on your lips. You dream of them and you sometimes want to sleep more than live just because you want to stay with them a little longer. Yeah, that's what I know about being in love with someone. And the thought of doing that again scares me because how do I know that that person is the right person to open myself up to? How do I know that person will see all that's wrong with me and not walk away?

I guess the biggest fear of any single person is probably the fear of loving the wrong one. Yet, I believe sometimes we are meant to love people even if they are the wrong ones in order to make mistakes, grow as people, and exercise our love muscle, just like you would any other muscle.

Just like walking or running or any other sport, love is meant to be practiced daily.

I guess I can find a little comfort in knowing if God brings them into my life, he uses them to better me so all I can do is trust Him to bring the right person to me. And not be so quick to give my heart away. I mean, God even tells us not to:

Guard your heart above all else,
    for it determines the course of your life. -Proverbs 4:23

Until then, I must remember what God has also said regarding fear: 

Fear not, for I am with you. -Isaiah 41:10

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

Day 3: Describe a moment or a day where being single was really awesome

Happiness is a form of courage...Being single is awesome. Ask any long-term married person what they wish for and they will probably tell you something along the lines of, "I just want a little peace and quiet and a little time to be by myself." Isn't that funny? Most everyone in this world chases the ultimate fantasy: marriage. Yet, once married for a while, what do we want? To be single. Ironic isn't it?

     One day that I've learned to embrace my singleness is Valentine's Day. All through high school, I really thought that a guy would ask me to be his girlfriend on that day. Yeah, I can just hear you through this computer screen. Oh, how cliche. You bet. Yet, I honestly wanted it more than anything in this world because well, high school seems like the time when everyone finally gets their first boyfriend so like any other hopeful romantic of a girl, I figured it would happen for me. I liked a few different guys throughout high school but I was always the girl they friend zoned, never the girl they automatically wanted to ask out.

So yeah, I'm here to tell you. I'm still a relationship virgin. Yet, I'm actually glad that I never dated anyone in high school because it really allowed me to stay focused on accomplishing my goals like getting my first novel published when I was fifteen and graduate high school with a 3.15 GPA. Although I'm young at heart and have a very youthful appearance, I consider myself an old soul because from a very young age, I've understood life and seen life in a way that people my age did not, so there's that factor, too. The maturity level just wasn't the same and I chose to stay single because I wasn't going to settle for a boyfriend who couldn't see things on my level.

Nowadays when Valentine's Day comes around, I celebrate me. Who better to love me than well, me? I don't mean I kiss myself and walk around like I'm the greatest person on Earth. Starting from this Valentine's Day on, I'm planning on spending time with Jesus, looking for people to show love to, and then maybe sending myself something nice to celebrate me and all I've overcome up to that day. I mean, why not?

Maybe you should too. You deserve to be loved and who better to start loving you than well, YOU.

Before I go, I must say one more thing about Valentine's Day. It always seemed like such a stupid holiday simply because I always watch boyfriends turn into Prince Charmings for that day only and the next day that couple will most often look as if they have broken up because you can no longer see the love there. I'm not settling for that. I want a man who will show me love every single day and any passerby that sees us together will have no doubt that we care about each other. They will feel the chemistry between us and maybe find the inspiration to go tell someone they love that they love them. That's the kind of relationship I'm waiting for and another reason why it feels so awesome to be single.

Remember: A woman on a mission needs no permission- Mandy Hale♥

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

Day 2: Describe a Moment or Day when Being Single Really Sucked

Happiness is a form of courage... Everyone tells me I should move on, I'm laying in the ocean, singing your song, ahahahahahah, that's how you sing it. -Lana Del Ray, Dark Paradise

I can tell you one day that sucks to be single is June 26. Back in 2006, I had a dream that I would find the love of my life on June 26 so every year for six years I would anticipate my dream guy ringing my doorbell and asking me to marry him.

Yeah, I know that's a bit rushed but that's what I hoped for. Even when I fell deeply for a guy, I thought I would hear from him on June 26, and each year I would wait, and wait, and wait...only to find that true love's voice was mute.

I finally realized that we can't know exactly what day we are going to meet the love of our lives and my vision was too limited. I had one idea of what my dream guy would look like but maybe God's destined person for me would look completely different. Therefore, I decided this year on June 26 that I wasn't going to sit and cry and listen to sappy love songs while watching romance movies while eating a ton of ice cream was not getting me anywhere. The only way to really live life and experience the things that life brings us is to get out there and really live life.

It's funny because on June 26, 2012 a stray dog actually ran in front of my mom's car and we ended up keeping her. She's a young beagle mix and she's such a joy to be around. I feel like maybe she was the love that God meant for me, and so now I don't anticipate June 26 as much as I celebrate Hazel joining our family and bringing such light into our lives.

God's plans really are greater than mine. His thoughts are really are higher than mine.

Thank you God for all you do in my life. I trust in you!

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

30 Day Blog Challenge: And Why Are You Still Single?

Happiness is a form of courage...I dare you. Go ahead. Ask me why I'm still single. I'll tell you the ultimate truth. I loved a boy with every last aching beat of my heart and lost. I lost the chance to be with him. I didn't lose him so that's a definite Godsend. Yet, I learned a lot in that seasonal relationship. I learned how to love someone unconditionally. I learned that friendship is sometimes the greatest form of love, and society today doesn't give it enough credit. Without further ado, here are the legitimate reasons why I'm still single (and loving it).

1. I'm a force to be reckoned with.

I've always been the independent type. Mostly because when I was younger I was bullied so I developed trust issues, and learned to lean on myself. Another reason I'm so independent is because that's how I was raised. I was the oldest of three girls. I was an only child for four years of my life (sometimes I wish for those four years back) and then my sisters came along and I had instant friends but as I became an adolescent and then later a teenager, and then now a young adult, my sisters and I grew apart a little. They had to make their own friends, mistakes, and life lessons. So, I stayed home alone with my dog Geniveve from the age of nine until now. (Now I have two more dogs so it's two times more fun). I just liked my own company. I never really understood why I couldn't make friends but now I've realized why. I'm so busy accomplishing my destiny that not everyone in life is along for the ride but some are meant to be toll booths and others are rest areas. They help you find your way if you've lost it and take a breather if you need it but when that season is over, you no longer need them. Thankfully, I've accepted the me that God wants me to be and I cherish every friend I make on this life journey, no matter if their time is short-term or long-term.♥

2. I'm a strong, beautiful, worthy woman of God

God created me to be me, no one else. I'm realizing this truth every day. The beauty in this truth is that I've learned that there is someone God has set on this Earth who is going to value me for exactly who I am. They won't want me to change my faith, my career, or what I look like. They will love the fact that I'm passionate about words and love to write. They will love that I absolutely LOVE Jesus. They will also love that I'm a 5'7" blonde haired, green eyed, Southern girl with Northern roots, who has a great sense of humor and loves to dance ballet to Celine Dion. We may not have everything in common but this man will complement me and make me a better person just by knowing him, and that alone, makes me not want to settle my standards one bit. ♥

3. I'm a focused college senior who's already accomplished so much.
I'm only 22. Yeah, that may seem young to you but girls my age and younger have already had at least one boyfriend in their life. Some girls my age or younger are already married and expecting, or already have a baby or two. I've not had any of those so far. Yet, I know God made everything beautiful in its time and he's the ultimate matchmaker and the Great Author of an everlasting love story so I'm not worried. I'm not going to say every day is peachy, rainbows and sunshine. There are some days I wake up and feel so alone. There are some days I feel as if no one truly sees me. There are some days when I feel as if no one understands me. Then I see the sun shining out my window, a butterfly flutter on my windowsill, an airplane fly in the sky, or even feel the breath in my lungs as I breath in then out and realize I'm never alone. God is right beside me. He's there, he's for me, he cares for me. I'm the apple of his eye. There is nothing that I can't face with him. With him, nothing is impossible.♥

So if you do dare ask me why I'm still single, that is what I would say. Yeah maybe it's not what you were expecting to hear but in life, the unexpected is sometimes the most beautiful lesson yet.

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~