Poems

          Our Timing

                Our timing
                Is all wrong
                Like church bells
                That toll too long.

                They ring in my ears and I fail
                To hear another sound.
               
                Our timing is all right
                Weirdly enough
               
                In saving you
                Or attempting to
               
                I’ve saved myself.
               
My life has meaning
                Purpose
                Passion
                A reason to keep breathing
                Believing
               
                In You.
                No question
                But
                There may never be an “us.”
               
               
That causes tears to fall
From my eyes
Quickly becoming
Salt dust.

Our timing
Is neither
Wrong nor right

You saved me
I saved you
And we both
Remain
Alive.




          Heavy Heart
                
             Today I am sad
                Like a wingless dove
                As hard as she tries
                She can’t get above.

                Above the idea
                That she may
                Never be loved
in the way she loves.

With her heart
Presented
In a pretty
Gold bow

Only to be placed
On a shelf marked,
“Just For Show.”

I want that post love glow
Where without a shadow of a doubt
He just knows

“you’re the one.”

The way his eyes
Plug into yours
Says it all.
I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
I fell for you
That handsome smile
That laugh that mimics music
The fact that you find my jokes
Funny at all.
Yet, you are too busy looking at she.

She will
Never be
Me.

You say you love her
But a part of me
Thinks,
Hopes,
Prays
It is only something you say
So she doesn’t realize you are
Pulling away.

That is only
My naïve heart
Hoping someone
Would choose me for once.

 Until then
I am not enough

I lay here on the floor
Like a wingless dove.

My chest is heavy
From this bird that sits upon it
The weight of this burden
Too hefty to bare alone.

Will love ever love me?
This I am not certain.


Blank Canvas

Words on paper
what if the only way 
of saying "I Was Here" 
is putting words on lines 
previously uninked.

Scattered tears
scattered thoughts
spilled ink
gently stirred with
blood, sweat, and irrational fears

Some people use labels to clarify 
and communicate
identity of being a person.

Me? 
I let the struggle speak for itself.

Chaotic madness 
is my point of view
Beautiful disaster to the masses
and curious bystander.

So far no one else hears the voices 
in my head quite as loudly
if they aren't placed on paper.

When I don't express what the voices say

I feel a little less
like me
every passing minute 
of every day.

For some
they live by 
the saying
"Silence is golden."

Silence only makes the voices sound
like they're screaming.

Write on me.


Someday My Prince Will Come; Overrated

“Lower your expectations”
I whisper to my heart as I clock in.

Yet, I still expect you
To speak up
To smile
To look at me with longing.

Like you’ve never been loved before
And you’ve fallen for the first time
Your heart has no broken edges or scars
Straight out of the factory
Right off the press

But instead you talk to me
Like I’m salt in your wounds
Vinegar on your lips in the hot summer heat
Lemon juice straight from the peel
Sour and nothing you desire

You crush my expectations
Of all we could ever be
With all that we aren’t.

Mark my words.
You will fall for me
And you will fall hard.

I’ve already fallen for you
But still I will rise
Because guys see everything first and foremost
With their eyes
Then their heart.
Girls are smarter
 we know looks fade
height diminishes with age
But still some of us
Wear our hearts on our sleeves
Like they are our crowns
And wonder ignorantly why
We lose track of how to smile
How to hold our head up
Or even to fall again

Because boys diminish a girl’s light and shatter her crown
While men help her to rise victoriously and shine.

Wait for a king.
Someday my prince will come.
Overrated.

4/12/19


Perks of Being a Wallflower
I'm just a girl
Really strong
like petals on a flower

I wilt.

Underneath this smile
No one comes to water me
or bring me sunshine

All I can see
are dark clouds
ominous yet sad.
Hope deflated 
like helium in a balloon.

I'm just a girl
who wants that frat boy 
with the sensitive side
to tell her she's beautiful
right before he kisses her.

I just want one person
to have their life
changed by the words
I write
on this page...

In that moment,
I'll know I'm not alone.

Though the truth 
is hard to swallow 
when it's choking you

You know what else 
is hard to swallow?

Life.
People leave without explanation.
Good people die too young.
Bad people get all the glory,
invites and friends.

If you don't know 
what you want to do in life,
your labeled a loser.
If you've never been kissed,
you're labeled a prude.

I'm just a girl
pretty like a flower
society has pushed me 
up against
a wall.

Does that make me a wallflower?
Am I nobody for observing life instead of participating?

I'm a strong wallflower 
but I wilt
sometimes I need water
a little rain
lots of sunshine.
Mostly
just love
to know someone
anyone
cares.
 I'm just a girl
with a beautiful heart and smile
who doesn't believe in herself.

2/27/13
























Homesick


         One Week Ago
          Today
          My breath had faded
          Heart beat was jaded.

          My first thought was you.
          As my heart lay black
          Breath ran cold
          But blue.

         All I saw was you.

        The way you smile at me.
        The light in your eyes,
        The way you get me
        without a word.

    It will always be you
    No matter how true
    you feel for me.

My heart cannot deny
The safe haven you provide
Even far or close.

My heart cannot deny
The homesickness
it feels

Without your love.

~Chelsea DeVries~



Inception

When I close my eyes
I see you
wearing not a suit
but a dress shirt and tie.

When I close my eyes
I hear you
laughing at the joke
I sent over text.

When I close my eyes
I picture you
being here
in front of me
and not my mind's eye.

When I close my eyes
I feel you
thinking of me
holding me on the other side
of these eyes.

When I close my eyes
fantasy becomes reality
and you say you want me
by your side...forever.

Oh,Dream Guy
don't let me die
because when the top
stops spinning

I am no longer alive.


Crushed

We met
I honestly didn't care
about you.

Thought you were cute
but that's fool proof.

I fell for your art of conversation
the words on your lips
scrumptiously tempting.

Now I try not to talk to you
see if you will talk to me
so far you are winning
this bet

about two people
a guy and a girl
who haven't even met.

Why do I like you?
I ask myself at the end of the day
maybe it's not you I like but
the words that you say.

Words are only words
until you mean what you say
Love is only love until
you give it away.

Giving God the upper hand
I'm staying true to myself
if you don't want me
I'm too beautiful

To be a doll
on your shelf.

Not giving up
just giving you
time
to see
the truth within
the lines.






Unvalued

You say I haven't had a job
in a tone that makes you sound
like a know it all snob.

Nine to five is not the only way
God's plan has more to say
you don't know God's plan for me
but you still hurt me,

You see.

Mother of three
Cleaning jobs
Husband who drives
her crazy being a slob

and saying she's worthless
because she doesn't hold
a valued nine to five job.

Though she wipes up
the messes he leaves,
cleans the house,
makes dinner,
no thank you or please.

Loads upon loads of laundry
drive here; drive there
feed the doggy
No time for her to comb her hair.

When did this world
become so money
hungry?

Whatever happened
to appreciating people
based on talent and skill,

Rather than rate them
based on dollar bills.

It's stupid; It's pitiful,
It's a shame.

Without a job
I become as worthless
as a person who
holds no name.

~Chelsea DeVries~
Mutual Respect

I would have
never guessed
you would
smile at me.

All my stress
has been relieved.

It was not me,
It was not you,
we are better apart
than together as two.

So many barriers
Not enough why-nots
sometimes I wonder
if you still hope
to one day try.

No contemplation
No expectations
just two things
left two say:

No questions asked
I'll always
be here for you
no infatuation
no obsession
just undying
loyalty
and love.

God's pen
has to end
the story.

To him be
all the glory.

You were my purpose
no matter what
we were a part
of each other's
story.

This is neither
hello nor goodbye
this is me
finally realizing
why

I ever had to meet you.

For you,

I thank God.

~Chelsea DeVries~

Caffeine Withdrawal

I met a tall
cup of hot
java
at the library.

Approaching me
he opened my
eyes
to God's
plan in disguise.

Day three
he spoke to me.

Day seven
I hit heaven
open mouthed
stare
I received.

I thank you
Coffee
for opening
my eyes
but you've
left Leo;
unless you
facebook
our story
has ended.

You wanted me
I wanted you
burner burned out;
electrocuted fuse.

I lost my mind
in your kind of brew.

I'll reconsider my
drink of choice
if you choose
the right sweetner.

3 sweet lines;
2 creamy pursuits.

Too strong;
too bitter,
unstable you.

Now you see why
I've exiled coffee.

At the sight of him
I became too jittery.

Now, I only
drink tea.


Sacrifice


I gave you all
I had
you gave it back
as if

It went bad.

My ribs broke
in the moment
I lost your love.

I became a wingless dove.

I forgive you.
I will love you
as a friend
even though
the idea of you
and me
came to an end.

I was not meant for you;
you were not meant for me;
one becomes two;
broken yet free.

Free to find
love
from someone
one-of-a-kind.

Made for ourselves
by the Lord above.

We had our time;
too early
too late
now is the time for us

To separate.

I love you.

Looking for you
when I close my eyes.
I dream of you; I smile.

Goodbye.

~Chelsea DeVries~

Lovers Without A Chance

First day back
all dressed in red
You again messed
with my head.

You played me once;
You played me twice,
you again start
rolling the dice.

I oblige;
play my turn
though my heart
you did burn.

Still the thought
remains
why can't the thought
of you
leave my brain?

You seem to share
with me
you still care
when you talk
with friends about me;
over there.

You want me;
I want you;
Doesn't one plus one
still equal two?

A thorn in my side
I must keep;
you are buried
in my heart
much too deep.

The pain agitates me
but I stay;
I would rather have you
than go my own way.

Here the story
fakes an end
because I cannot
just keep you

As a friend.

~Chelsea DeVries~

Hot Coffee

Friendships end
over hot
coffee.

New ones
brew.

Hi, who are you?

Facebook friends
within day two

Locking eyes
with no goodbyes

Sparks fly

your smile
invites me
inside.

I want to know
your favorite color,
your pet peeve,
whether you have an uncle
named Steve.

I'm more than
a one night stand.
I'm the girl
you book
the wedding band
for.

Unspoken thoughts
communicated
between hello
but never goodbye.

Don't put this fire out;
Don't let this flame die.

~Chelsea DeVries~

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