Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Becoming a skyscraper

Don't be a wallflower in the dance of life... This past week has been really messed up. You know in the beginning of the song Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae, it starts out: "It's been a really, really messed up week. 7 days of torture, 7 days of bitter. My girlfriend went cheated on me but she's a California Dime and it's time for me to quit her." That's what I dealt with since last Friday August 26th. I found out someone I was about to date betrayed me. I finally told him to get lost last week but ever since then everyone has been treating me like the bad guy.

I honestly felt ultimately betrayed by this person not because they decided they didn't want to date me. That doesn't matter. What matters to me is that I thought we were best friends and this person kept things from me that happened over the summer, talked to another girl just like he talked to me, and told some girl that has never liked me all my fucking business. That is the ultimate betrayal to me and it hurts to think I stooped so low to care so much about someone like you.

In all honesty, I am NOT the bad guy here. You can make it out to seem like I am but God knows the truth. Every day people lie to God too so keep telling yourself you believe in God. Your actions prove otherwise.

I am writing this blog because I feel like people I started to befriend at the start of the semester have decided not to be friendly with me anymore without even hearing my side of the story. What happened between me and him has NOTHING to do with you so I just want to say, if you choose him, you choose him. It's too bad I didn't get to know you liked I hoped to.

What's even sadder is that people judge me so much at this school when I have never done anything to them personally. Honestly, if you have a problem with anything that I've done to you, said about you, thought about you even, then come say it to my face. Trust me, I am not afraid to tell you how unimportant you are to me.

This isn't the first time I've been outcasted. I've actually been treated like an outcast all my life. I was bullied every year of school: K-12. The only reason I was bullied is because I'm not like anyone else. I am different. I do stand out. And that drives people nuts. They don't understand how someone like me can even exist. The only thing I can say to them is I exist because he exists. I live because he lived. I will never die because he already died for me. In case you are confused, I am talking about the one and only Jesus Christ, my personal savior and love of my life.♥

He is THE ONLY REASON I still exist today. Without him, I would have ended my life at the tender age of 12 but because of him, I chose to keep my head up and find my life purpose and continue to drive the world nuts with the fact that I'm still here.

And that's what I'm going to do now. If you truly are my friend, I want you to make it known that you are my friend. Be seen with me in public. If not, well your loss.

Despite statuses on Facebook and Twitter that stated I was leaving Saint Leo, that is not true anymore. If I leave Saint Leo, I would be giving all power to Satan himself and THAT I will NEVER do. I am staying here at Leo until I graduate because I want to make all the people that hate me on this campus squirm and feel uncomfortable for their insecurities and how they treated me in the past. I don't want to effect my karma but I sure will effect theirs.

Until next time: You can take everything I have. You can take everything I am like I'm made of glass, like I'm made of paper. Go on and try to tear me down but I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper...like a skyscraper♥

Love Times Infinity,
God Bless

~Just Keep Swimming!~

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