Hope this blog finds everyone doing well. Here's a VLOG for you: Life is too short...send me a letter or a car♥ Watch that, and then we will begin.
You didn't click the link...Click it!
Ok, now that everyone has watched the VLOG (and shared it), the story can begin.
Senior year thus far is going really well. Well, at least it was for the first two weeks. I like all the classes I'm taking. If you asked me what my favorite class was a week ago, I would have said personal selling. Mostly because I knew that class was going to be a thorn in my side because it is about talking to people (gasp!) and selling things. Yet, in the first two weeks, I attended every class and whenever the professor for that class would call on me, because I was keeping up with the reading, I knew every answer. I felt like such a genius. I even got an A on my first assignment for that class and I was so thrilled because this was one of my major classes. It just felt like maybe I was meant to do this marketing thing.
One thing I started doing this year is wherever I went on campus, I would smile at people who passed me by. With everyone owning Iphones and being obsessed with what Justin Bieber just tweeted, most people don't make eye contact anymore when they walk by people. This world has become way too shallow, if you ask me. So, I'm on mission to change that and one way I'm doing that is by warming the world with my smile. It was a funny experiment at first because I could tell that people didn't expect me to smile at them, and I could tell I made some people's days. haha.
My mission for you: Pay attention to people around you. Smile at them. Say hi. Ask someone you don't know how they are doing. Say thank you. Hold the door for someone whose carrying a lot. Hold the door for someone just because. I want all of you to start spreading love wherever you are. Maybe, just maybe, if we all do this together, we will be one step closer to a more peaceful world. And, if not, hey, maybe we will make a new friend. Unlike the rapper Drake, I'm all about new friends. What do you say?
God finally started taking care of my bill. On the last blog, I believe I wrote that I owed Saint Leo over 11,000 dollars. My bill is now down to $8,682.38 because God gave me more financial aid when I didn't expect anymore and $1000 dollars was also removed from my bill because I dropped a class. God is good♥
Last week, I had dinner with two of my friends. We were just talking about a bunch of things. I decided to tell them about something that happened that made me happy. I wasn't asking them for their approval. I just wanted to say, "Hey, this happened to me. Be happy for me." Yet, instead of being happy for me, one of my friends had to give me her opinion about what happened. My other friend did say she was happy for me but first she laughed about the whole situation after my other friend gave her two cents. Needless to say, I felt like I was being mocked by my own friends. I left dinner feeling very upset and started to cry. I was praying and asking Jesus, "Am I doing the right thing here? You understand why I'm upset." I went to walk out of the building to go to Apartment Five and I looked out the stairwell window and I saw this:
I rushed back up to my room and got my camera and headed out the door.
God was giving me a sign that I was doing the right thing and to not let the haters ruin something beautiful that he established. God is so good to me♥
Then, that night when I got back to room( and most nights unless it's raining) this is my view. God paints me a beautiful sunset to watch out my window each night. I also saw a plane fly overhead which made me smile because I believe when you see a plane fly overhead, it reflects someone far away who misses you or is thinking of you. Thank you to whoever was thinking of me right then. I miss you too♥
Last weekend, I spent the night at my friend Sarah's house. I also had gotten personally invited to a frat party but Sarah and I didn't go but we still had our own party. As soon as I got to her house, we watched what else but the movie Sleepover.
Then, we both realized we were starvin' like Marvin so we decided to make homemade pizza:
While we made the pizza, we had chips and hummus and beer all while jamming out to Hunter Hayes and Demi Lovato, of course.
Here's the gluten-free pizza that Sarah made. I made regular pizza and Sarah and I loaded on the cheese.
Sarah's mom also made Sangria and salad and tater tots for us. Needless to say, whenever I go to Sarah's, I definitely don't starve. I think I gain a few pounds but hey, it's all good.♥
Here's my dinner (minus the tater tots and Sangria)
Once Meghan got there, we watched Now You See Me and Sarah made Gluten-free brownies which we topped with chocolate ice cream. You just drooled on your keyboard, dude. Not cool.
Then, because I was high on Sangria and chocolate, we decided to watch My Fair Wedding with David Tetura on Netflix. I know, I know. We are such girls.
On Sunday, Sarah and I woke up early and she made me gluten-free pancakes and bacon. Her mom made me a big bowl of grits from scratch (the good kind) which she put cheese in for me because that's how I like my grits. I was just really excited about the grits because I grew up on them and they are one of my favorite breakfast foods. I guess I'm a little bit southern after all.
After we got ready to go, Sarah and I decided to head to the Wiregrass Mall. Sarah offered to treat me to Panera Bread before we went browsing which I thought was so nice. I promised her I'm a cheap date and only got a cup of brocolli cheddar soup and a cup of water. They swiped my Panera rewards card and it turned out because it was recently my birthday, I was entitled a free pastry. I looked in the glass at all the pastries and couldn't decide. My eye kept wandering to that very big brownie so I picked that. Yay for a free brownie when I didn't expect it.♥
Once at Wiregrass Mall, we only went to Barnes and Nobles and Charming Charlie's; our two favorite stores. I almost splurged and got this Marilyn Monroe book that was only seven dollars but knew I was in need of toilet paper so I saved my money. I successfully walked out of both stores without buying anything. Of course, my favorite section of Barnes and Nobles is the journal section and they had this cute leatherbound journal that had an embroidered heart on the front. Yet, I just mentally put it on my wish list and kept browsing. Sarah and I had fun in the journal section though when we found this journal with a picture of Ryan Gosling on the cover and a speech bubble that said "Hey girl." We couldn't stop giggling. I know, I know. We are such girls.Sarah almost bought it.
Before we left Barnes and Noble, I went over to the Business section and found a whole four bookcases with Marketing and Selling books on them. It was so exciting to see a section with books about my industry.
Sadly, I got some sad news on Sunday (refer to my VLOG above) and spent the rest of the day in a very weird emotional place.
On Monday, I was so tired from a long, somewhat restless weekend, that I didn't want to go to my classes but I did. Plus, I was still emotionally disturbed over the news. So, when in my personal selling class, I was called on to get up in front of the class and role play a selling technique, I was already pretty upset. Needless to say, I was not in the best place to talk in front of people and I know I looked like all types of a hot mess up there.
As soon as I got out of that class, I burst out crying because I just felt so disappointed in myself( plus I was way too tired for words). Thankfully, on the way back to my room, I saw my friend Demetre and he gave me a big hug and cheered me up.
Yet, the self-doubt I felt kept haunting me. I just kept reliving my hot mess of an experience in personal selling. The images and sounds would just play before me like a really bad, unedited movie.
I couldn't take it so I decided not to do my homework, got in my pjs and just catch up on General Hospital. I didn't get very far, and just was way too tired. I headed to bed. The next morning my alarm went off at 7:45 although I don't have my Guest Service Management class until 11. I turned my alarm off and said, I'll get up at 8:30. Eventually, I just realized I didn't have the strength to get out of bed. It just was rough.
Thankfully, after a day spent with my boyfriend Jesus, I was on the mend. Wednesday was a much better day but it still was stressful when I got my graduation application and talked to my advisor about my internship that I should be doing next semester in order to graduate in May. I just couldn't handle the pressure and started to cry because the reality of my life sat before me. The fact that I wouldn't be a student anymore as of May hit me and I realized I would technically be a real adult in the working world. Yet, in all the madness, I didn't even notice what God had done for me in order to get me to see the beauty of it all:
I'm sure you can see what I saw but let me get all poetic and describe it. My cookie I had gotten from the SAB was shaped like a heart. In that moment, the line from Bruce Almighty popped in my head, "And that's the way the cookie crumbles." Yet, I remembered God loves me so this cookie isn't going to crumble because God is for me. He is working in me. He is with me♥
And the church says, Amen!
On Thursday, I took my senior picture. Yes it was a cap and gown picture which I will share with you when I get it (unless it looks ratchet) but I finally felt emotionally ready to face life again. Maybe you can tell that from this picture:
My hair even decided to cooperate for me on Thursday. The universe was definitely for me getting my senior picture (finally!).
On Friday, my roommate Anet was getting ready for bed early because she had to get up at four a.m. because she had a race in Gainsville. I decided to draw her a motivational picture and yes, I know my drawing skills suck, haha.
When I was watching Joyce yesterday, she said something that brought tears to my eyes:
God chooses people who don't have a lot of an idea what they are doing. He chooses people that don't have a lot of education, don't have any money, don't have anybody to help them. He says, "Go, and I'll be with you." Notice the Go part is first."♥
Hope you find inspiration in those words as well but personally, I see what God is telling me. Yeah, personal selling is something I definitely don't want to do as my career but it's going to mold me into all God wants me to be.
My mom even told me that if I keep getting up in front of the class and talking, by the end of the semester, I'll be so comfortable in front of people, I could be a stand-up comedian.
I love my mom!
Hopefully, you decide to send me a letter but if not, I'll be ok. God's got me.
Until next time, remember, The good you do today for others, the same people will forget tomorrow; do good anyway. -Mother Theresa♥
Love Times Infinity,
~Just Keep Swimming~