This VLOG depicts what I'll be talking about in this blog :)
Ok, now that you've watched that...let's begin.
As you all know, I'm back at Leo. I was not happy to have to go back and was a little ungrateful. So ungrateful in fact, that I spent the second week of school literally doing the same thing I did last Spring: skipping class. Going to work but skipping class. Why would I do that? Don't worry, I'll get to that.
Finally, after a week of self-pity and spending a week focused on my strengths, my talents, and my insecurities with myself, I said ENOUGH! I focused on Jesus and trusted him and he told me to step out in faith.
On February 1st, I wrote out goals for this month that I vowed I would stick with and they are:
1. Workout 3 times a week
2. Don't miss any class except on Feb. 21 (thyroid check-up)
3. Write Ch.10-12 of One Last Breath
4. Finish Fifty Shades triology
5. Start preparing research for Sales Presentation (Personal Selling)
I have been reading Demi Lovato's Staying Strong book and that was what it said to do for February 1st. I'm going to do that every month from now on. It really helps you set your most important priorities and the rest becomes white noise.
Anyway, Monday I returned to my classes and I actually enjoyed them. I no longer focused on me going to class, talking in front of the class, doing the assignments, as I was doing all of that alone. Now me and Jesus were together in this. A funny thing happened. I started liking the me that God can see. I've finally begun to love myself.
As some of you may know, I posted a VLOG asking for creative handwritten or hand-drawn Valentines just to use as decoration for my walls. I was trying to inspire creativity. Yet, I didn't expect anything from it. I simply just let God take care of it and guess what? Shocker. He actually did.
In the last blog, you may remember how I said I wanted chocolate for Valentines. I didn't want it for romantic purposes, I just wanted chocolate because I'm a girl. Do I need a real reason for chocolate? :P
On Monday night, the guy I was working with was leaving and I was busy helping a patron find a book they needed for a class assignment. I was so busy with the patron, I didn't even see him walk over to my book and place a Hershey's bar on top. When I was done with the patron, I walked over to go back to my hw and found the gift just sitting there. Since the patron had been a guy and he was still there and talking with the guy I work with, I thought at first that he put it there, or that one of my friends had walked in and placed it on my book and left. So being the bold Leo that I am I spoke up, "Who gave me this?" Sure enough. The guy I worked with slowly raised his hand. It made my day! As you can tell, I was off to a good start for the entire week. Remember how the fortune in my VLOG said: You will soon receive an unexpected gift from an acquaintance. Yes, that happened.
Tuesday was really good because Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually good because I don't have class but I work early in the morning and then have the rest of the day to just do my hw and laundry and work out.
Wednesday and Thursday were equally good, mostly because I started eliminating people from my life that I feel only weigh me down.
Friday I wasn't really awake when I went to breakfast but as I was leaving the cafe, I followed this girl out of the doorway and something told me to look down. I did and all of a sudden, money was sprawled all along the doorway. I asked the girl if it was her's because I seen that her bookbag was open but she claimed she didn't carry money in her bag. No one else was around except for me. So, I knew then what God did. He rained provision down for me. I picked it up and it turned out it was $28 total. I was a month behind in paying my phone bill money to my mom and this was enough to cover what I owed. Praise God! Remember how the fortune in my VLOG said: new financial resources will soon become available to you. Again, that happened.
Saturday, I went to see Jason Derulo in concert (included in park admission). His show was amazeballs. Below are some pictures: (Provided by my sister's camera phone since I don't have a camera.)
He sang all of my faves of his: It Girl, Talk Dirty, Riding Solo, and the Other Side. His dancers were crazy good. He even let us hear a two day old song he just made in the studio called Wiggle Wiggle. It's going to be a definite hit. You will be turning up to that shit.
As you can see, we (My family and I) were very close to the stage. So close in fact that Sunday, I was surprised when I logged into Facebook and thanks to my sister tagging me, found myself in a picture posted on 933 FLZ's fb page.
Then this week started out good but of course you can't have a trial free life. This week my trial came in the form of an assignment for my marketing class where I was originally assigned to sing and dance in front of the class. The assignment was called Be Creative. I was really stressing it big time. Since I used up all my skips for that class, I knew I had no choice but to face the music (haha no pun intended) and grow a freaking pair. So I prayed that morning and planned on going to class half an hour early to talk to my professor.
As I was walking to class, my professor was also walking back from lunch so he met me at the front of the school of business. I met up with him and chatted to him about general things and then told him I was very confused as to the assignment and the girl I was assigned to work with contributed nothing so I honestly told him I had nothing prepared. He goes, "Chelsea, you at least have to give me something." So, I asked if I could write a poem about model airplanes (since that's what we were trying to advertise), and he said sure.
He goes, "You have 20 minutes so go get started." I ran to the library and this was the poem I wrote (which I later shared with the class):
I lost my heart to a model airplane
I watched my heart soar
Like a model airplane
Unexpected crash landing.
If only I wouldn’t have left
My heart’s remote
In the wrong hands.
You shouldn’t either;
Give height to your own dreams
And watch them take flight
With the purchase of the
This poem gave me an idea for a poem that sums up my "love thyself" message pretty nicely. You can view it Model Airplane Heart
Friday was also Valentine's Day but it turned out I had a very blessed day. I got unexpected Valentine's from two of my friends when I thought I wasn't going to get any this year. You can hear more about my Valentine's day: Happy Valentine's Day
(And yes, I am aware that I wore the same thing in both of my Valentine's Day videos. I did that purposefully.)
I've finally started appreciating the love I do have instead of ignoring it for the love I don't have. Being grateful really changes your view on life. For more on being grateful and who was my Valentine this year, read my previous blog A Letter To My Valentine♥
Anyway, today I watched a bunch of Bible teachings and they all talked about not running from the plans of God just because they may make you uncomfortable and I realized I finally overcame my biggest fear: publicly sharing my creativity with the world, face to face. See, I have this great gift of being creative and I write blogs, books, and even poetry but I don't like to read my writing in public for fear of not being accepted for sharing such an intimate part of myself. This is why I hate public speaking so much. It makes me uncomfortable. Yet on Friday, I received the greatest Valentine's day gift of all: I overcame my fear and I've realized that when you stop begging for attention is when you actually get it.
Mandy Hale explains this better than I do so my final thought will be from her book, Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass.
Before I get there, let me go ahead and tell you about something sort of poetic the Lord just revealed to me. When I started writing this blog, I was hungry. I mean, famished because I hadn't eaten anything since brunch and I also barely ate anything at brunch. I decided to wait until dinner to eat again so I could really eat my heart out (if you know what I mean). I went and God had prepared a feast for me. There was nachos at the main station, bacon cheeseburgers at the grill, the salad bar was chock full of good toppings, and they even had chocolate pudding out by the yogurt. Usually on the weekends, the cafe disappoints but not today. I was eating alone because I just wanted to get back to blogging and everyone that walked by my table kept looking at me because I had three plates and one bowl in front of me. It looked like I had a four course meal in front of me enough for two people. I left the cafe actually full and satisfied and happy (mostly because of the chocolate pudding). Then God said to me, "This is what I want life to feel like for you every day, Chels. Full and complete, and satisfactory." Whoa man.
Conclusively, as long as you focus on what you can't do, you will never do it or you will constantly go around and around struggling with it. As long as you focus on what Jesus can do in you, nothing is impossible. Jesus is the key to life. And not just any life, but a full, complete, and satisfactorily peaceful life. Trust me, I'm living it right now. Not every day is easy because some days you wake up and you still want to sleep. You are sore from that workout you started yesterday or you did an extra set so your muscles ache. You are a little angry at yourself because you gave someone too much credit and yourself not enough. Yet, every morning now, I wake up and expect good things to happen to me. I get up and get ready and run that thought over and over in my head: Something good is going to happen to me today and every day, it does. It's not always big enough for me to share on Facebook but it's big enough that I notice it, and look up and smile at Jesus, and say, "Thanks Handsome." ♥
My next blog will be about what I've been doing in order to maintain a healthier lifestyle and will feature a video of my sister Jamie explaining her weight loss journey. (Jamie if you are reading this, yeah, I forgot to ask you about that. Hope you're ok with it.)
Until next time, remember this: "Here's a little secret that's going to save you a lot of unnecessary grief in life. Are you ready? Your worth is not tied to any person. Life will be a miserable experience if you spend it worrying about others' disapproval rather than letting your light shine without fear. I'm learning that not everyone is meant to understand us, approve of us, or join us on our journeys. Some would slow us. Others would deter us. Some would jump in the car and take off without us! And some are giant roadblocks that would keep us from the destiny that God has for us. So trust that the people who strayed from your path don't belong there anyway. Not everybody can go where you're going.
An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: you find it. People are naturally drawn like magnets to those who know who they are and cannot be shaken! Looking to someone else for the things you should be giving yourself only serves to water down the person you were born to be. It is vital to be so rooted in who you are that you're not yanked off your feet by someone else's opinion or disapproval.
The bottom line: the ones who are meant to get you will get you, and the ones who aren't will be mystified by you. And that's okay. It's not your place to try to please everyone or earn everyone's approval. After all, you're not here to fit nicely inside anyone's mold. You're here to break it." -Mandy Hale, exerpt from Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass.
Love Times Infinity,
~Just Keep Swimming~