I took my first two novels out of my closet and looked at them for the first time in three years. It was weird. I actually was repulsed by how juvenile and immature the writing in these books was. If you haven't bought my books, that's ok. You aren't missing anything.
I actually am quite embarrassed by them now because my writing style has changed so much. I think it just changed with age and the things I've experienced but I'm going to work on what those books were missing which was included in every (well, most) YA books I've read in my lifetime. Something that makes the story withstand time, and maybe even gets the attention of movie producers who can't come up with their own ideas. (Hey, I'm not against books being made into movies. That's the marketing machine for any author).
As some of you may know, I recently read the book The Fault In Our Stars by John Green and it really made me re-evaluate my YA writing style. Yes, it's admirable that at 15 I decided to become a writer even though no one was behind me, I understand that I published those books for the wrong reasons. (Plus, at 15, I was obsessed with Ryan Sheckler, I was going to marry him, and I thought becoming an author would not only make me stand out but make everyone want to be my friend.) I'm going to work on a new novel as soon as my memoir is finished and in the process of publication that has the same characters but adds depth to the story line which is what TFIOS had.
It kind of made me feel like I let the world down because I published such a weak piece of literature. It was an underdeveloped project and I put it out there for everyone to see. It's like I told the world at a backyard barbecue that I was going to grill the hamburgers and served them to everyone raw and said, "Ta-Da."
Yet, I feel like the reason I decided to write a blog about this moment in my life is to let you know that I won't be hurt if you decide not to purchase my two novels because from every standpoint used to critique literature I can see that my novels lack important pieces of timeless literature and I am working on something more compelling than those two stories now and in the future.
It's very life-changing, ultimately, to be able to look at a flaw but feel flawless. I'm completely imperfect and that's ok. Why? Well, when I am weak, He is strong. And not I, but the Grace of God.♥
Love Times Infinity,
~Just Keep Swimming~