As she was looking up the jobs that fit my marketing degree, I really didn't have any passion whatsoever about any of them. No butterflies, no sparks, no stars in my eyes. I just nodded and smiled for the hour and a half that I met with her. Don't get me wrong. She was very knowledgeable and very personable yet I felt this sense of misplacement somehow.
On January 9, I received a call from a marketing company in St. Petersburg and I was stoked until I found reviews for the company claiming that a lot of what they do is just product booths in Sam's Club. I didn't spend 63,000 in student loans to sit managing and marketing a product or products in Sam's Club. Plus, the review stated they lie about salary in the interview, and pay poorly.
Plus, I felt this feeling that my family didn't really support me with this new job.
Then, about a month later, I got all situated with an internship in public relations and I was stoked.
After I started out, the work load seemed like too much for an unpaid internship so I gave my best wishes but moved on.
It was all of this that made me realize I don't have any interest working in public relations directly or even using my college degree at all. Of course, if I find a job that pays well that I can utilize my degree with, I will apply and trust God with the rest.
Yet, I've realized I've spent the majority of my life (25 years) living to please other people.
- I enrolled in IB and completed three years of it before having to attend a new school in my senior year and have three hours less homework and no friends.
- I went to Saint Leo University because it was close to home but really wanted to attend UCF.
- I went to college for accounting because my parents wanted me to have a good job right out of school
- I basically failed out of accounting only to switch to marketing when I really wanted to study to be a publicist or study writing.
So I've come to the conclusion that I just want to work the odd jobs so I can get the people experience without the job experience. Only because I know that at 25 years old, I am not trying to freeload off anyone at all so I want a job while I pursue writing novels full-time.
Why are some jobs so well accepted by society and others aren't? For example, my dad is a truck driver and my mother cleans houses for a living. Both are service-type jobs with different daily tasks. My dad gets to see different states every day that he's out on the road and get different loads from point A to point B. My mom goes a client's house and makes their house spotless all while chatting with them and making them smile (some of them live alone so they look forward to my mom coming so they can talk to her).
Yet, my parents are undermined in high society. Some relatives even act like what my mom does every day isn't really a job at all, and that's she living too fancy free.
I say let people live their life. After all, you only get ONE on this earth. Make it count.
When I write, there are days I don't know what is going to spill out of me. God recently told me that if I don't stop worrying about my plot lines, I will give myself frown lines. (He isn't wrong. Plus, he made me laugh with that one). Yet, there is a fire, a passion, a spiritual act taking place where sometimes God is using my words to be placed right there because someone (maybe YOU) needs them at that divine ordained time.
It's not easy being a writer. Not everyone can write books as a career. It's not so much about being inspired or having a story. It's the business part of it that literally can rip your heart into two halves while they continue to beat. Plus, there is such a stigma or stereotype with saying you are a writer that makes people automatically judge you.
She is trying to make a career out of people that don't exist.
She's naive because she talks to make-believe people.
Her optimism is annoying.
Dreams are for weak minds. Strong people know reality is all that matters.
What a loser. No one will buy your books.
People having low expectations of me is what fuels me to prove them 100% wrong.
So go ahead and make me feel bad for staying true to myself, God's expectations of me are ALL THAT MATTER.
Before we go, I completed two weeks of the Bikini Body Challenge.
Here's my newest check in.
Until next time,
In Christ Like Love and Confidence,
~Just Keep Swimming~