Sunday, August 31, 2014

There is nothing flowery about this post

Happiness is a form of courage...I honestly never know who reads my posts on social media and I don't know who reads my blogs since most of my friends don't tell me they read it. I don't post it to get compliments. I post it to say what needs to be said. That is how I view all my internet posts. So reader disclaimer: if this post offends anyone, I'm just brave enough to say what nobody else is saying.♥

Before I get to the heart of the matter, I guess I'll give you an overview as to what life is like now that I live at home and do school from home. At first, it seemed like a pretty heavy burden to know I was going to be stuck at home and not going back to physical school. Not really for any specific reason other than freedom and the life I had there. It's a life I don't have at home. One where I have a job, a room of my own, food usually always at my disposal or thrown down the garbage disposal (depends on the day), and the ability to hang out with people my age (including members of the opposite sex). Ultimately, it was almost like I forgot basically how much I hated living on campus and why.

I'm not going to go on a rant of all the reasons why I think Saint Leo isn't the best school because I'm still a student there but I will just say it's nice that I no longer have to spend the majority of my time feeling like I always have to be on, as in feeling like I have to measure up and impress everybody  and I don't have to eat any meals alone anymore, so that's a wonderful change in pace.

Long story short, I had so much less pressure doing my schoolwork from home. I didn't have to waste time going to a physical classroom and listening to a professor just preach to me about nonsense instead of the material. I could take breaks whenever I wanted and I also didn't have to stress wondering if I was going to complete all my homework in time because I had to go work endless shifts at a work study job where I was expected to also always be on. I didn't have to dress up or even put on make-up. It's not like I never left my house because now that my sister Jayde is in college (and no, she isn't attending Saint Leo) , I go to the public library with her or I even visited her college campus which was awesome (they had this whole welcome week event going on all week (I don't know about you but I cannot turn down free food ) :)

Plus, it's important that I am with my family during this difficult season in our lives. I'm loving being with my dogs every day and my family and I are becoming closer now that we are all together again. It isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It's not perfect, that's for sure, but it's perfect for right now and I'm learning to be grateful for this season I'm in every single day.

I also started journaling more via Tumblr since I really hate being that friend that constantly texts her friends when she's going through a trying time. I prefer to be the friend that keeps it all inside and just places a smile on her face and helps others feel better. As for me and my problems, I don't like to bother people.
Joyce Meyer always says, "Don't go to the phone, go to the throne."♥

 All in all, I enjoyed my first week of doing college from home.♥

A funny thing happened yesterday. I visited Saint Leo and I realized that it's totally not the same anymore. I just went there for the free printing and to see how my beloved prodigy (the free coffee) was doing. Not good, I might add. It was missing the love in every cup. Anyway, long story short, I slipped on and off campus like a ninja and it was awesome. It cured my nostalgia for the place. And I understand now, that God is writing a new chapter in my life. I'm not stuck; I'm actually on my way to a greater destination.♥

 Thank you Mandy Hale who I'm proud to say is a NYT best-selling author now! Seeing her become a best-selling author and knowing how hard she's worked and how patiently she's trusted in God, just goes to show that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD. It only inspires me more since I also have a similar dream to be a NYT best-selling author♥

Which leads me to my final point.

Lastly, I've put myself in the running for a scholarship competition sponsored by Dr. Pepper. You can vote for me here I WANT OTHERS TO KNOW NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. Please be advised that it takes all of two seconds to complete the voting process(you must vote from a computer as voting from a phone doesn't work for most people) and it costs you nothing. It would mean the world to me if by October 20th (the first deadline for the contest) that I could make it to 250 votes at least. Yet, I've been extremely upset with how lightly people are taking this. I'm not asking for an organ donation or even any monetary support from all of you. I'm just asking for you to BE A FRIEND and support me for literally two seconds. I could care less about anything else right now. I'm just determined to get people involved in believing that nothing is impossible. I'm not concerned about winning as much as I am trying to like always, change one person's view on life. 

It honestly sickens me that the majority of my votes were from strangers instead of my friends but to the friends who have voted and shared the link, thank you for supporting me in my day of small beginnings because in my day of great endings, I will remember the goodness and kindness you showed me. I'm just that type of person. That's how I was raised, to always be grateful. And plot twist: a grateful attitude means a happier person♥ If you think of all you have to be grateful for, instead of all you do not yet have, you will be happier, believe me. It's how I start all my prayers. It's how I start my night time journaling. I literally have a blessing journal where I thank God for each of the good things that I experienced that day (even if it just happened to be that he gave me another day, or a goodnight's sleep, or even just a day where my dogs were extremely loving to me on a day when I may not have been lovable).

So I'm done listening to everyone I know give me excuses of why they can't vote for me and instead like all matters of free will, I'm giving this whole Dr. Pepper contest to God because if not, I will become a completely different person. And yes, I mean, I may have to start removing kneecaps. And as much as it's fun to joke around about mob strategies, I'm not really interested in the effort it would take for me to want to do that to people who obviously can't even give me two seconds of their time.

Therefore, just like Jesus on the cross, I have made this my daily confession: "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing."♥

Personal shoutout to Jazmine Thomas for being awesome!!! You are the definition of a true friend. I'm so blessed to have "met" you through the Single Woman Crew. I look forward to the day I will get to see you in person. It's going to be epic, for sure.♥

Until next time, remember: No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. -Agnes De Mille.

Love Times Infinity,
God Bless
~Just Keep Swimming~

1 comment:

  1. Kudos to your bravery in speaking your mind. Keep it up!


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