Florida born and raised but I've got Jersey in my veins... over this past week, I've come to realize I've lost a few very close friends over the past few months. They all want to blame me for that. I'm not going to say they are wrong because of course, I will admit and apologize for my actions that led up to our friendships ending. Yet, I also feel that this post needs to explain some things about me in general as a person so get ready to hear a personal anecdote.
Growing up, I was the shy girl. Still am in most social situations but between my freshman and sophomore year in college, I finally found my voice. Growing up, though, I would keep things bottled inside and the only time they would release themselves is when I finally found an outlet through writing my freshman year of high school. Before that, I was a psychological mess. I suffered from depression and had thoughts of suicide.
After that, God showed me to Jesus who eventually led me to writing and in the process, introduced me to that professional skater known by the name Ryan Sheckler. Through Ryan Sheckler and writing, I found my purpose in life.
Today, I've matured in both Ryan Sheckler and writing. If you don't know what I'm talking about please see the blogs: The Difference between Love and Respect and It's A Writer's World After All.
In my maturity, as I mentioned before, I found my voice. With my voice, I speak the truth. I speak the truth about my feelings, my opinion, and my beliefs in hopes that people treat me the same.
Therefore, I feel that the friendships that I recently lost and the drama that I've been involved in throughout college, is because people cannot handle the truth. In the words of Lil Wayne, "it's a foreign language" to people. Also, sometimes it hurts because it opens things inside our unconscious mind and heart that we would rather keep locked inside and distract ourselves from dealing with. Not me. I find if you don't face problems head on in life, you end up carrying that weight with you for the rest of your life or end up making your life shorter.
All in all, the real me is OUTSPOKEN, LOUD, HONEST, REAL, FRIENDLY, LOVING, MOODY, STRONG BUT WEAK, NOT PERFECT, MAKES MISTAKES, FUNNY, WITTY, SARCASTIC, SMART, STUPID, BLUNT, SPEAKS FROM THE HEART ALWAYS, A CHILD OF GOD♥
My true friends that I still have know this about me and I know they have my back and accept me for all these things. Those that have chosen to not be my friend or not accept me, most likely secretly cannot face the fact that they want to be me. I know people will read this who are not my friends and be all, "Wow, what a cocky bitch." Not cocky; I'm confident.
I can understand why people would want to be me. I've lived an amazing life. I am extremely talented and have a lot to offer to those that are in need of those things but I am all that I am because GREATNESS lives inside me and that GREATNESS has a name that I speak of every day. His name is JESUS. Without him, I honestly wouldn't be great or extraordinary me. I'd just be plain-Jane ordinary me. So, all of you out there who envy me, cannot forgive me for being me, or want to be me, stop those negative thoughts RIGHT now.
You should not want to be ME; You should want to accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior and become EXTRAORDINARY GREATNESS just like HIM♥
If you are ready to be an ambassador in Christ, please pray this with me:
“Heavenly Father, I come to You in the Name of Jesus. Your Word says, ‘Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved’ (Acts 2:21). I am calling on You. I pray and ask Jesus to come into my heart and be Lord over my life according to Romans 10:9-10: ‘If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God has raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.’ I do that now. I confess that Jesus is Lord, and I believe in my heart that God raised Him from the dead.
“I am now reborn! I am a Christian—a child of Almighty God! I am saved! You also said in Your Word, ‘If ye then being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: HOW MUCH MORE shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?’ (Luke 11:13). I’m also asking You to fill me with the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, rise up within me as I praise God. I fully expect to speak with other tongues as You give me the utterance (Acts 2:4). In Jesus’ Name. Amen!”
Begin to praise God for filling you with the Holy Spirit. Speak those words and syllables you receive—not in your own language, but the language given to you by the Holy Spirit. You have to use your own voice. God will not force you to speak. Don’t be concerned with how it sounds. It is a heavenly language!
Continue with the blessing God has given you and pray in tongues each day. You are a born-again, Spirit-filled believer. You’ll never be the same!"(From KCM.org)
For more information and resources involved with being an ambassador for Christ, please visit KCM.org<-----Copy and Paste this. What are you waiting for?
Until next time, in a world where you can be anyone, be yourself!
Love Times Infinity,
~Just Keep Swimming~