#WriterWednesday: Someone is ALWAYS watching

Lately, I've been dreading going to work. And not because I don't like it or really don't need the money. I definitely do but because I feel like no matter what I do at work, I get yelled at.
I've come to realize that wherever I am while at work and no matter what I am doing, I am being watched.

Managers have my schedule and log my breaks and meal times on their palm pilot. (They know when you take a break longer than 15 minutes). They know if I clock in early, clock in before putting my stuff away, or clock out early.

They know if I'm late, if I've called out. All thanks to the great and powerful concept of technology.

Plus, they know everything I do while at the register or walking around the store (there are cameras everywhere).

Just this past week, I felt like I was literally being fitted for a customized ball and chain. I felt less enthused to go to work and more as if I was just someone in a cage asked to play a role, and they promise to feed me.

Yet, I have to perform the role just right or else. And it made me start to feel like I wanted to give up but I knew that was the last thing God wanted me to do.

Plus, the truth of the matter is this:

In the long run, all these mistakes that are embarrassingly being called out in front of customers and other associates will make me a stronger person.

A strong person who got through their job because not only did they know that the all seeing eye was watching and listening.

So no matter how hard I am tested with this job and the people I must respect in order to keep it, I REFUSE to give up.

God sees you and me and he hasn't forgotten about the dream he's placed in each of our hearts.

One day when I'm a huge PR executive for a A-List PR firm, I will look back and laugh at how far I've come.

One day when people are writing reviews about my novels, I won't break or change who I am and how I write to please them because I know WHOSE I AM.

Until next time, remember:

#WriterWednesday: I'm Under Construction (So Please Give Me A Break) by @ChelseaDeVries

You're 24. Don't you think it's weird that you still live with your parents?

I mostly get this from my younger sisters when they really want to knock me down a few pegs. And sometimes I feel as though people also think its childish that I don't drive. Yet, no one really understands the reasoning behind why I'm at this place in my life. The only one who does is God. 

I really thought by 24 I'd have a car and my own place and be living the true adult life. Yet, I graduated college and instead of being handed the keys to a Porsche or the world on a silver platter, I struggled to find a job.

So, I figured God wanted me to dig deep down into my bag of talents and utilize my gift of writing to help me make money until he guided me toward my next career move. And on July 21, 2015, after a year and a half of unemployment, and many tuition bills to overcome, God blessed me with the coolest gig in the world: getting paid to write. 

Then, more and more writing jobs came and went, despite the fact that close to when I turned 24, my whole world turned black when I lost my best friend and childhood dog of 15 years, Geniveve. 

Following this, I fell for the scheme of all schemes thinking I got a full-time freelance writing job but instead I just got an empty wallet that just collected all my tears, and brought all my trust issues to a head. Like a miracle straight from my best friend's angel wings, I got a random direct message on October 1, 2015 from a guy I met from Orlando during the livestream of my favorite Christian event, Disney's Night of Joy. He wanted to know if I was still looking for work and wanted to hire me to write freelance articles for him. Following this, he asked me to write Bible commentaries for his personal website. 

Then, I started realizing that my freelance writing wasn't a steady source of income, and my internship was on a volunteer basis only so I followed my dad's advice and finally sent in applications to part-time seasonal jobs in my local area. The last place I applied to was a technology and electronics retail store more prominently known in most social circles as Best Buy. I was reluctant that they would even consider me for the job my dad advised me to apply for: merchandise specialist. I mean, a girl who wanted to work in the warehouse and unload the trucks? They would probably laugh at my application. 

Instead, God was faithful and after a year and a half of not having a steady job, my mom sent me a text one Thursday in late October saying that I got a call for a job interview with Best Buy. After two interviews that I honestly didn't put much thought toward, I was offered the job I currently have. And yes, I'm one of the only girls working with a great team of guys who unloads trucks and stocks the merchandise, and gets up at an ungodly early before sunrise hour on Sunday mornings to make sure that the price tags you find in the store match not only the product but the weekly circulatory ad in the Sunday newspaper. 

I'm sure you are wondering why I decided to tell you this. Well, I mostly had to write all that out so I could figure where I want to go with all that but I think I have a point here. No, I know I have a point here.

In Genesis 37: 5-7, the Bible tells the story of Joseph, and Joseph was a dreamer (much like myself), and most like any other person with a dream, Joseph went and told his brothers about his dream. And as per usual, Joseph's brothers hated him for having a dream. Just like my sisters hate on me for being the dreamer I am. And God being the great God that he is, put Joseph through the ringer because before you are raised, you must first be tried. God wants to see what you do with the small (somewhat unimportant) tasks before he puts you as the manager of a company. For example, I work at Best Buy now because God is shaping me with the job at Best Buy, and training me for a much heavier, more important assignment he has in the works for me. Just like with Joseph, his brothers tried to have him killed and God being with Joseph every step of the way, ended up putting him with an official of the Pharoah, Potiphar. Potiphar ended up putting Joseph in charge of his personal affairs. Joseph went from being an Egyptian slave to being in charge of a government official's personal affairs (Genesis 39:2-6). Suddenly, God can cause your dreams to come true. After all, nothing is impossible with him. 

There will be people in this life who become like ants under a magnifying glass in the sunlight when you are around simply because your bright light is just that too bright, and burns too hot for them and their small mind. Click To Tweet This. Don't ever let them fade your light into a burning ember but instead, keep on shining your light in this dark world because someone is looking for just that amount of light to wake them from their mundane life. They need the colors you bleed; they need the brightness you carry. For no other reason than because they need a reason to keep on living. They are hungry for the vividness of the ink you bleed to brighten the canvas of their daily life.

And the greatest thing about surrounding yourself with people who need your light is that you help their light get brighter and the world becomes like the most beautiful vivid double rainbow after a storm, even only for a moment. 

I basically went on a poetic tangent there but I'm serious when I say don't you dare give up on any dream you have, big or small. God knows of them all. Psalm 20:4 says, May he grant your heart's desires and make all your plans succeed. Let him take care of what you think will never happen.

And if your brothers or sisters (sibling or otherwise) are hating on you, let this verse encourage you on days when the hate overwhelms you, and threatens to blow your light out like a strong but unwanted gust of wind:

So we're not giving up! How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. -2 Corinthians 4:16-17.

Until next time, remember: Grace is God's overwhelming desire to treat you as if you have never sinned. -Kenneth Copeland

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea 

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

P.S. Don't forget to share and support my campaign for a trip to visit California.

Also, you should know I'm still struggling to stay focused with my new smartphone but I know God is working with me on that every day. 

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#WriterWednesday How I Succeeded at Failing (and what it taught me)

     My girl Geniveve has been gone almost two months and I still haven't finished grieving over her absence. I know she's with me and as close to me as Jesus himself but that still doesn't mean I don't miss her hugs, her smile, or how her hips never lied. Yet, it's like no one at all understands this because it's not socially acceptable to grieve over a dog like this but what people don't realize is that I saw Geniveve as a person and not a dog so I grieve over her how you would another human.

     Yet, I didn't think Geni wanted me to sit around and cry over her without moving on with my life. After all, I feel like death is just the wake-up call we need to fully embrace life.Click To Tweet This!

    So I did attempt to move on by applying for more work and I got a second part-time job with an undisclosed freelance agency. At first, I was excited because I got hired the day before my birthday (Aug. 4) and I would be paid to write just like my other job with Outloud but instead of being paid by the article, I would be paid by the word count, and the pay was very low. Because of this and the people who worked for this agency started to mistreat me and accuse me of blatant plagiarism, I decided to look for another job. I applied for ten to fifteen more freelance postings through the site Elance, and within the same day, I heard back from a guy saying I had to reach him via Skype to see if I fit the job description. I sent him a contact request and waited until 2 p.m. the next day. He finally added me and said he had to make a new job request for me and I had to apply there.

    At first, I was like wow, they are creating a special position just for me to apply to and to work. This must mean I'm really special.

    I accepted the terms of the job which included writing articles for eight hours a day, five days a week, meaning I finally found a freelance job that was full-time. I was working for a pay rate of $13 an hour. I was ecstatic and immediately thanked Jesus and Geniveve for smiling down on me.

    After the first week, the guy didn't answer me when I logged in to let him know why I couldn't work the day before. Something didn't seem right. Plus, why must we always communicate through Skype? I don't even have skype on my work computer. After tossing and turning for a good two hours, I got up and logged my computer on and found that "my boss" was logged on at 2:30 a.m.. He was located in California...this would mean, he was working at 11:30 p.m. I sent him a message that said Hello. He wrote back, "Ready to start?" At 2:30 am?! was this guy real? My intuition was screaming loud and clear, RED FLAG! GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL HAVE YOUR DIGNITY!
  That Sunday (on my day off) I was logged into my work email and found that Elance was advising me to stop working on this project as there were risks with the overall account. I didn't know what they were talking about so I just kept working. I didn't want to give up and risk losing the amount of money I was making.
 
  I worked until Thursday of the next week when I received yet another email from Elance letting me know that my invoice I submitted to receive my first paycheck as a full-time writer was still unpaid and they advised that I stop working. I sent "my boss" the link to the unpaid invoice and surprisingly he ignored all messages I sent him that day. On Friday September 4, I not only quit working for the second part-time freelance job who jibbed me of pay they claimed they would pay me but I found out the full-time job I was doing wasn't even real. Even the contact information the guy provided Elance was all false and made up.

This left me feeling defeated, broken, and absolutely worthless as a writer.

     On September 1, 2015, I had set out to write a 50,000 word in 30 days. I know what your thinking: Have you lost all sense of reality? Well, of course otherwise I wouldn't consider myself a writer at all. I decided to do it both to prove to myself I could, to help myself write more freely without self-consciousness or awareness of audience, and to prep for November's NaNoWriMonth. The first four days went by with great progress and then after I lost two jobs on the same day (both of which weren't worthy of my time) and was left, once again with one job and little money from it. I just didn't know how to keep going.

    Sure, I could blame my family for not being supportive. My sisters who are overly needy but only need me for help with their homework but never for any other reason. My mom who wanted me to watch our usual shows together so the DVR didn't get too full. My dad who always needs me to do something for him or with him, who expects everyone in my family to drop everything they have planned on the days he's home so that we can hang out with him on his days off. They, have well meaning intentions of at least wanting me around, but at this time, I just wanted to accomplish something for myself because I wanted to prove that I could move on from Geniveve's death and life could go on.

Yet, once again, I failed. And this time, Geniveve wasn't here to dance for me to cheer me up or give me a hug while I cried silently in her arms. Instead, I had to find a way to pick myself up from this and go on.

I did find a way but I still can admit that I'm not fully healed from this.
Nothing bad in life has good timing and this situation was no exception. Click To Tweet This!

I had to remember that even when things in life don't make sense, God has a plan. Recently, I went applying for freelance writing jobs via other sites and I happened upon a site called guru.com. I found the guy who scammed me and his real name is Falcie B and he was from Kenya. That explains why he always sent me messages in broken English.

So I've not found more work as a freelance writer yet but I did receive plenty of opportunities in my field of public relations. I am now an intern for two separate PR firms both of which are located in Florida. I'm really excited for this opportunity to further my expertise so that I can eventually be hired for a public relations job which require 3 plus years experience in the field.

I'll save you from hearing my list of complaints about how my life isn't what I thought it would be at 24. I envisioned a whole different existence for myself. I saw myself with a husband and plenty of furry children living in California working and being successful living in a big house complete with a dance studio, a music room, and plenty of bedrooms so we always could have guests stay over. I would be driving a Purple porsche and being able to travel the world and see it.

I still have dreams of driving a car of my own but I would start with a Mazda 3. I still have dreams of seeing the world and I want to start by seeing the entire United States before I go overseas. I'm even considering making these dreams real by making GoFundMe pages for each of them so that generous strangers can consider helping me make them real. Comment below if you think I should.

I'm not someone who compares myself to other people because there is no win in comparison but I do see that most other people got a lot of help from relatives and friends of the family after graduating college. They got new cars and vacations as their grad gifts. Yet, this isn't my reality. I've always been forced to be financially independent (for the most part) and find a way to buy myself the future I desire. And of course, I know I can when I remember that my heavenly Father is the source of all provision.

These failings taught me that despite having to wait for the life I want, I should instead embrace the life I have now. After all, God's word says in 1 Cor. 2:5: So that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men (human philosophy), but in the power of God.

 In October, I'm going to attempt again at writing my 50,000 novel in 30 days. Please stand with me by sharing this post with anyone you can think of.

Before I leave you with a final thought, I promise I will try to blog more because I appreciate all of you that read my posts and share words of encouragement. Also you can now follow my Blog on BlogLovin' through your email so you never miss a post. See the sidebar or go here to follow: https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/welcome-to-my-life-14441135

     Until next time, remember: God not only sees where you are, He sees where you can be. -Joyce Meyer. Click To Tweet!

     When nothing in your life makes sense, trust God anyway. -Joyce Meyer Click To Tweet!

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~