#PoetryPower: Happy Medium

I was kinda quiet during the month of April because I was trying to work hard on my writing projects as well as other stuff. I decided that I was going to write a stanza every day in the month of April but once the flow of the piece I was working on took over, I ended up with 35 stanzas. I edited the piece and it follows below:

What's The Difference 

Between 

Keeping Quiet

and Suffering in Silence?

It's one breath between

swallowing

A thousand pins

While being stabbed 

Repeatedly in the gut

Trouble slams the door

repeatedly

while I sleep

There's nothing worse 

for me 

than an interrupted dream

I crave it like Godiva

Covered in whipped cream

A chocolate covered strawberry

Dripping in melted desire

I think I'm just hungry for love

I have no appetite for casual hook-ups

kissing and telling

Having my freak

out in the streets

no matter how good I turn out and up 

in the sheets

How long until I can finally be me?

Judgemental comments 

Pierce my ears

Judgemental 

Condescending eyes

Dirty looks

It seems my bae

found a new bae

that ain't me

Everyone moves on 

without me.

No one sticks around

to ride the waves of life with me;

They just stop hitting me up,

They just leave.

What makes people stay?

Giving them their own way

A healthy hookup of 

give and take,

heavily weighted compromise.

Look me in the eyes

See the betrayal

The frustration

The bitterness of being

through the ringer

Seeing things no young human 

should; not saying things I wished 

I would

Doing everything the critics

said I couldn't.

I know what they saying but I promise that

I'm cool tho

God says that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made

Plus he pays my bills, gives me chills, calms the thrills 

pulsing through my veins

I'm enough for him

For now I'm content

Heaven will send

Me a man who

loves me the same

Worships Jesus 

Loves me tenderly

Fanboys my writing

Kisses me softly in public

Hardly can stand the thought

of waking up without me

Entangled in sheets

Swaddled in love,

Just us becoming we.

Romances me

Sweeps me off my feet

Just with the way

He enunciates my name

Each syllable

a chord in

the love song; 

the love story.

A girl can dream

even if she never sleeps.

You must have an 

xylophone 

in your belly

because

every sentence

you symphonize

Each phrase

rings in my ears

on the right key

Making it hard to forget

your melody

Like a radio earworm

on repeat

I'm stuck between killing myself

or them 

Since either one of us is

better off dead.

I'm less interested

in the chase of having someone

More interested in someone 

who relentlessly pursues me

Oppressed by a system 

that tracks my every move

just to prove

I'm worth the cost of EBT

College graduate;

worthless degree

Not in the talking stage 

with anyone

as I mentioned before

bae got a new bae

So I showed him

the door

The most talking I do 

with anyone;

the drive-thru 

window 

at Dunkin Donuts.

All fat; no luck

My own ghetto

Starbucks.

I'm loving this detox.

Have you ever drank

kale through a straw

so the scale number 

wasn't so raw and ruthless?

Swimsuit season

Fast Approaching

Sweeping in faster

Than Florida humidity

in April

Wonder what a cold season is

As I thaw out from the ice just served to me

In the look my sister just steered straight for me

Like a zamboni with no brakes

All caked on make-up

No true face.

Guess I've got to let go of you;

The idea of you and I.

Not yet a we.

Separated by pride;

Stubborn point of view.

My thoughts have made my head

Heavy

Lately you've been on my mind

though we haven't spoken in years

All your fault 

must be another pride

thing

I should have never

written 

you that letter

With that letter in your hand

I severed our good karma

positive vibes

I never got a hello or goodbye

you just stopped coming to my

 neighborhood

Most likely because you don't want

the invisible leprosy 

I have all over me

It's so contagious

It's affected my mind

My perception 

of me

Am I really being myself or fooling myself

to think

this is the live I want to live

Did I ever 

Have a choice?

~Chelsea DeVries~

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

#PoetryPower: Last Laugh by @ChelseaDeVries

I wrote this poem last week about some oppression I was dealing with. Yet, I hope you can take this poem as inspiration for whenever life presses you up against a wall.

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

Last Laugh

I know a girl

who lives a jubilantly dismal life

inside her saggy

broken, taped on one side,

cardboard box

Her stuff is scattered

here and there

except the seeds of her memories

those are scattered

underneath the bridge 

she used to live under

that two coyotes

took over.

Who knew on the

 search to find

yourself

you'd find yourself

out in the cold

And the people 

you once loved

with all your heart 

would do absolutely

anything

say anything

just to cut you down,

rip your dreams apart.

A knife wielded ; a failed attempt

to stand up 

for 

your worth

but now the 

coyotes still get

the last laugh

The do nothings

always have so much to say

but the do somethings 

can do nothing but

prove them wrong.

~Chelsea DeVries~

P.S. Please visit The Smart Cookie Philes now to see three new review articles. Giveaways coming soon!

#WriterWednesday: I'm Under Construction (So Please Give Me A Break) by @ChelseaDeVries

You're 24. Don't you think it's weird that you still live with your parents?

I mostly get this from my younger sisters when they really want to knock me down a few pegs. And sometimes I feel as though people also think its childish that I don't drive. Yet, no one really understands the reasoning behind why I'm at this place in my life. The only one who does is God. 

I really thought by 24 I'd have a car and my own place and be living the true adult life. Yet, I graduated college and instead of being handed the keys to a Porsche or the world on a silver platter, I struggled to find a job.

So, I figured God wanted me to dig deep down into my bag of talents and utilize my gift of writing to help me make money until he guided me toward my next career move. And on July 21, 2015, after a year and a half of unemployment, and many tuition bills to overcome, God blessed me with the coolest gig in the world: getting paid to write. 

Then, more and more writing jobs came and went, despite the fact that close to when I turned 24, my whole world turned black when I lost my best friend and childhood dog of 15 years, Geniveve. 

Following this, I fell for the scheme of all schemes thinking I got a full-time freelance writing job but instead I just got an empty wallet that just collected all my tears, and brought all my trust issues to a head. Like a miracle straight from my best friend's angel wings, I got a random direct message on October 1, 2015 from a guy I met from Orlando during the livestream of my favorite Christian event, Disney's Night of Joy. He wanted to know if I was still looking for work and wanted to hire me to write freelance articles for him. Following this, he asked me to write Bible commentaries for his personal website. 

Then, I started realizing that my freelance writing wasn't a steady source of income, and my internship was on a volunteer basis only so I followed my dad's advice and finally sent in applications to part-time seasonal jobs in my local area. The last place I applied to was a technology and electronics retail store more prominently known in most social circles as Best Buy. I was reluctant that they would even consider me for the job my dad advised me to apply for: merchandise specialist. I mean, a girl who wanted to work in the warehouse and unload the trucks? They would probably laugh at my application. 

Instead, God was faithful and after a year and a half of not having a steady job, my mom sent me a text one Thursday in late October saying that I got a call for a job interview with Best Buy. After two interviews that I honestly didn't put much thought toward, I was offered the job I currently have. And yes, I'm one of the only girls working with a great team of guys who unloads trucks and stocks the merchandise, and gets up at an ungodly early before sunrise hour on Sunday mornings to make sure that the price tags you find in the store match not only the product but the weekly circulatory ad in the Sunday newspaper. 

I'm sure you are wondering why I decided to tell you this. Well, I mostly had to write all that out so I could figure where I want to go with all that but I think I have a point here. No, I know I have a point here.

In Genesis 37: 5-7, the Bible tells the story of Joseph, and Joseph was a dreamer (much like myself), and most like any other person with a dream, Joseph went and told his brothers about his dream. And as per usual, Joseph's brothers hated him for having a dream. Just like my sisters hate on me for being the dreamer I am. And God being the great God that he is, put Joseph through the ringer because before you are raised, you must first be tried. God wants to see what you do with the small (somewhat unimportant) tasks before he puts you as the manager of a company. For example, I work at Best Buy now because God is shaping me with the job at Best Buy, and training me for a much heavier, more important assignment he has in the works for me. Just like with Joseph, his brothers tried to have him killed and God being with Joseph every step of the way, ended up putting him with an official of the Pharoah, Potiphar. Potiphar ended up putting Joseph in charge of his personal affairs. Joseph went from being an Egyptian slave to being in charge of a government official's personal affairs (Genesis 39:2-6). Suddenly, God can cause your dreams to come true. After all, nothing is impossible with him. 

There will be people in this life who become like ants under a magnifying glass in the sunlight when you are around simply because your bright light is just that too bright, and burns too hot for them and their small mind. Click To Tweet This. Don't ever let them fade your light into a burning ember but instead, keep on shining your light in this dark world because someone is looking for just that amount of light to wake them from their mundane life. They need the colors you bleed; they need the brightness you carry. For no other reason than because they need a reason to keep on living. They are hungry for the vividness of the ink you bleed to brighten the canvas of their daily life.

And the greatest thing about surrounding yourself with people who need your light is that you help their light get brighter and the world becomes like the most beautiful vivid double rainbow after a storm, even only for a moment. 

I basically went on a poetic tangent there but I'm serious when I say don't you dare give up on any dream you have, big or small. God knows of them all. Psalm 20:4 says, May he grant your heart's desires and make all your plans succeed. Let him take care of what you think will never happen.

And if your brothers or sisters (sibling or otherwise) are hating on you, let this verse encourage you on days when the hate overwhelms you, and threatens to blow your light out like a strong but unwanted gust of wind:

So we're not giving up! How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. -2 Corinthians 4:16-17.

Until next time, remember: Grace is God's overwhelming desire to treat you as if you have never sinned. -Kenneth Copeland

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea 

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

P.S. Don't forget to share and support my campaign for a trip to visit California.

Also, you should know I'm still struggling to stay focused with my new smartphone but I know God is working with me on that every day. 

I would love to connect with you:

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#WriterWednesday: Perpetual Sadness-A Poem by @ChelseaDeVries

Perpetual sadness
Drowns my soul
some would call it a hole
in my heart
that tears me apart
as I lay my head to sleep
at night.

Frustration eats away at me
Insecurity rises
Pride ebbs and flows,
she likes to take everything
personal
much like an obsessed lover
I have yet to love.

Does anyone realize
that I'm broken?
Or am I good
at pretending?
Fake it until
you become it.

I don't know how
to go on
until I hear
a still small voice.

It says
Be still and know 
that I am God.
O child, 
where is your faith?
The joy of the Lord
is your strength.

I must allow this
to be the tissue
that wipes away my tears
yet just like a Kleenex,
the tears are gone
but not the fears.