Something on my mind lately that needs to be addressed

Happiness is a form of courage...
In case you aren't aware, I have another bill for Saint Leo. This probably is not surprising news to you since probably to my readers and most people that know me know that losing my Bright Futures Scholarship my freshman year really made me have to work harder during the years that followed. When I say work harder, I really mean I've struggled financially in order to put myself through school. Yes, you read that right. Other than the 40,000 plus I now have accrued in student loans and the small scholarships for being a Florida resident, I've had to come up with $3500 on my own. Personally, I've never seen $3500 in the flesh (if you have want to be my friend lol). I was raised in a humble home. I was raised by working for your keep. My parents have never given me anything beside the basics freely. Some people may think that was harsh but I'm here to tell you and give a shoutout to my parents (mostly because my mom is reading this. Hey Mom and Dad, love you♥) that they really raised me right. I have a select group of friends that all were given cars at sixteen and had everything paid for. This is not what irks me. These same sixteen year old's did not have to have jobs and really have been handed the world on a silver platter. In my opinion, this is bad parenting. Granted, I didn't have a job at sixteen other than being a published author because that was all I had time for because I was enrolled in the IB program (I never got to be a teenager in the normal sense of the word. In other words, I've been in college since the age of 14.) but still, I wasn't given allowance unless I did my chores. There was no advance. You earned your week's pay by showing some form of responsibility.

Character is formed through difficulty. Some suffering is ok. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I am living proof that this saying is true. I'm glad I've had to work to put myself through school and constantly lean on God for provision because it's really taught me that a salary is not the source. The Source of all provision is God and I'm glad I got to learn this at a young age because the lessons I've learned in my financial struggle will be ones I will carry with me the rest of my life.

Aside from this rather verbose reason of no surprise that I have a bill, let me just say that this time I am surprised. Mostly because for once I thought I was going to be all caught up with my balance and I would be issued a refund with the rest. Yet, instead, I have a bill for being a part-time student for half the semester (8 weeks) and it totals 3788.59.
I've made a GoFundMe page to help me pay some of it off. It has to be down to $500 by July 1st otherwise I can't register for Fall 2014 during which I have a total of 9 credits left. I was hoping to do my internship during the summer and only have my two remaining classes to do in the fall but that plan is shot to hell as of right now.

With this GoFundMe page, I've started doing some direct marketing with the link and asking people to retweet it (you know me, just doing my marketing thang). Some of the well-known people that follow me, some of my friends, and some Christian people I connect with on Twitter. What surprised me is that the worst offenders of my direct marketing ventures have been the Christians. I always assume that worldly people are selfish so when they ignore me, I don't let it get me down. Yet, I felt completely slapped in the face with a wet rag when I realized that there are too many lip service Christians out there. They tweet all the right things but when I ask them to tweet a simple link to help me finish school, you would think I asked them for the answer to world hunger. (The answer here is Jesus and may I also suggest a Zac Efron kissing booth).

If you are one of those people who has ignored me with a request to share my link and you are reading this right now, please understand that I have judged you as one of my fellow brother(s) or sister(s) in Christ. If you are to be like Jesus, you are to rush to be loving and helpful toward the poor and needy. I will never call myself poor because I currently still have a house and a bed to sleep on, food to eat inside that house, and money left over to be generous with, yet, I am in need currently. I pride myself on being someone who goes out of her way to help a stranger. I'm also someone who has gone above and beyond to help her friends achieve their dreams in what little way I can. I'm not saying this in order for you to think a certain way about me (good or bad) yet I'm saying that it is a crying shame that Christians let theology get in the way of simply doing what Jesus called the only true commandments: Love God with all your heart, mind, body, and soul. Then, Love your neighbor as yourself. (Maybe these people don't actually love themselves and felt threatened to cast the spotlight on to someone else who loves Jesus and is asking for financial support. There's a theory that really would take another whole blog to discuss.)


Mostly, this blog isn't to point fingers or to say how mad I am with this person or that person but it is to bring attention that if you call yourself a Christian, you need to act more like Christ. Don't think just because you post Christian messages on Twitter that you yourself are holier than thou. For instance, I myself post Christian tweets and I myself can admit that I don't always act like Christ. I'm not expecting perfection here. I'm only asking that if you want to represent Jesus, then your actions need to match your words at least 90% of the time.

Please if you are reading this blog right now, I ask that you share this link Make My Dreams Come True.

It takes two seconds of your time to post the link to your social media accounts. That's all I'm asking for.

Yes, I would love it even more if at least 5 out of every 10 people that share the link donate ten or twenty dollars but I'm not going to ask that of you. Giving needs to be from the heart and if your heart is not affected by my near graduation and my future career then that's fine, I understand. I'm not the only person in the world with financial problems. Yet, on that note, remember the widow in the book of Mark 12:41-44 who gave all she had and what Jesus said after watching her give her tithe:  Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44 They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” When you give no matter how much you have, it shows you trust God to give you back what you gave plus more. It shows genuine faith. That's why I find people who say, "Sorry I have bills to pay, I can't help you" as an excuse. You are supposed to give the first 10% of your income to God (ie through a church, a missions group, a ministry, etc). Malachi 3:10. After that, your money is yours to do  with as you wish. 

I just want people to be aware of my page because the more people that see it, the more chance I have of raising the money I need in order to finish my degree. Plus, beside the GoFundMe page, I am working on another appeal for additional financial aid. I feel like the last bill taught me so much of where to go and who to talk to. Some may call it street smarts; I call it God's favor.

Because of this bill, I have stopped going to class ( I missed 3 consecutive classes) and it has really caused me to fall into a bit of self-pity. Yet, I know just like last time that "I will believe God and see His glory."
I've decided, from this day forward, that I'm wasting time (and money) by being depressed regarding this. I have 31 days left on this campus (32 if you count the day I move out) and I've really got to make them count. So this is what I plan to do. I'm going to be like the Apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:11, I can be content in whatever state I am. (For those of you who aren't studying the Apostle Paul like I am or are unfamiliar with his life and writings, just know he wrote that statement and the subsequent letter from a jail cell.) He was knee deep in sewage and he declared that statement so I think I can equally (if not a little more so) be content despite this raging storm of financial difficulty. 

If anyone (family, friends, or acquaintance) catches me being sad these last 31 or 32 days, please remind me of the Apostle Paul's statement and also tell me to listen to Lead Me To the Cross by Francesca Batistelli. I will think of Jesus and again be reacquainted with the Prince of Peace.  

Before I leave you with a final thought, please let me apologize for this blog turning out looking like a religion paper ( I've been writing so many lately that it's just become habit to back everything I say with a suitable source.) Literally in the middle of this blog, I had to stop and re-read what I had written because I was going off on a whole other tangent regarding theology. The thought of me as a religious theologian just makes me want to barf. The word religion literally makes my pulse quicken that's how sick it makes me. I consider myself a deeply spiritual and faithful Christian. I am not religious.

Until next time remember, These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold...- 1 Peter 1:7, NLT♥

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

P.S. If my mom is the only one that reads this at least I got this off my chest and Mom, you are so awesome! :)

Thank you to the select few that have shared the link. Feel free to share the link as much as you want but aim for at least once a week. My goal is that if you are annoying as possible about something, people suddenly just want to get rid of you so someone will just donate say, $500. Hey, God only knows. Here's to hoping. Again, thank you so so much.♥

My promotion on Twitter currently looks like this: 

Why Mandy Hale is Officially One of my Heroes and You Should Buy Her New Book♥

Happiness is a form of courage...As most of you know, I am a huge fan of Mandy Hale aka The Single Woman because of her message that it's ok to be single, and loving it. Recently, I was picked out of multiple applicants to be part of her Single Woman Crew and be a part of her Never Been To Vegas book launch. This blog is basically the culmination of three weeks of socializing with women of all different ages from all different walks of life that all share one thing in common with me: We are single woman who are inspired by Mandy Hale.

       When I started reading Never Been To Vegas, I was so excited to get to read the book before it hit store shelves but I didn't know what to expect. Mandy's first book, Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass, really keeps me going. I read it most nights right before going to sleep in order to meditate on a new perspective from Mandy. Mandy to me isn't some 34 year old blogger who now writes book on the single life, but because I've followed her journey since 2012, I've come to think of her as a long lost older sister who's lessons I can learn from, and to me that's exciting because it takes a little pressure off me being the oldest and the role model for my two younger sisters and focuses the attention on what I can do to better myself for no one else but me and God.

     Yet, I started reading it while watching The Bachelor which wasn't the smartest idea because well, I wasn't immediately hooked. (I mean, have you seen Juan Pablo?). Yet, once I finished watching The Bachelor, and stopped daydreaming about Juan Pablo, I gave the first chapter a second read and finally realized that it was a genius way to start the book because it pretty thoroughly summed up the book's overall theme: It's not about the destination; it's about the journey. Appreciate your journey for what it is, the good, the bad, the ugly, the awkward, the really awkward, the passion, the fire, the rain, the mud, and even take a few minutes to sit and soak up a little sun.

    Mandy starts the book by talking about why she's never been to Vegas but her luggage has, and what a funny story that is. It actually sounded a lot like something that would have happened to me so immediately Mandy and I started her journey on common ground. As a writer myself, I find that it's important to start a book in a way that both hooks your reader and leaves them relating to you or in the case of fiction, the main character.

    Moving on to Chapter 2, I found it quite funny that Mandy and I had another similarity. We both had our first love at the age of 18. In Mandy's case, she dated hers and what a sweet couple her and Matt were. My favorite quote from this chapter came from the beginning where she talks about high school: " I can remember feeling like I never quite fit in with anyone. Now I can look back on it and see that I never quite fit in because I was never meant to. I never knew how to be a follower, and I never succumbed to the temptations of cigarettes or alcohol or drugs in high school like so many teenagers do. I was far from perfect, but I think I felt God tugging on my heart, even then, to live my life by a different standard than most. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and I can look back at those days now and see that I was being prepared for a different sort of journey than the majority of my counterparts. At the time, more often than not, it just felt lonely."

     The first chapter that really knocked my socks off and I really related to was Chapter 4 because it talked about the beginning of Mandy's walk with God, and how she learned to lean on God instead of focusing on her relationship status. Plus, Pastor Dan's prophecy gave me goosebumps. "Mandy, there is something about you that is very precious to the Lord. I feel like He is saying, "Even in your mother's womb, I knew you." There have been seasons that you drifted away from God, but He always pulls you back. He's never been very far from you. I see you one day speaking into the lives of many young women. I see you on airplanes. I see you going...the sky is the limit!" When he said the part about speaking into the lives of young women, every hair on my arms and legs stood up. Crazy. I'm now one of those young women and it's amazing how God thought of me even while he was giving Mandy hope for her future. What a loving God we serve.

   Chapter five was very amusing because it talked about Mandy's journey after college. How she basically did a lot of "character work" before she went on to work for CMT. God even restored her hope by allowing her the chance to be an extra on Dawson's Creek. So, so cool!

    Chapter six and seven really spoke to me. Chapter seven made me a little bug eyed when I found out that Mandy's academic advisor was also a Dr. B. Her's was Dr. Berg; Mine is Dr. Baglione. Sorry, if I sound a little bit like a fan girl right there. Please allow me to continue.

     Chapter seven talked about Mandy's battle with depression upon losing her job at CMT. As someone who has suffered much of her life from depression and recently have overcome my battle with it, I can emulate with Mandy in understanding how much it's not easy living with it. Everyone you know doesn't understand why you stop talking to them and shut the world out but it's only because you don't know how to communicate how low you feel into words. 

    Mandy's story really gets interesting after this because she overcomes her depression and anxiety issues by taking dance classes. Then, Mr. E gets introduced to us, and Mandy. Soon after, Mandy gets a job in PR for a technology company, and ends up in a relationship where she completely gets battered, bruised, and broken, but due to God's grace, not damaged. She finds the strength to walk away and Mr. E and her reunite, only for him to disappear again.

   Chapter 17 had a quote that really spoke to me because of something that happened to me this week. This week, I faced my fears and basicallyasked the guy I've liked for five months within another question if he saw things between us going anywhere and he gave me a straight very nose-dive worthy no. Well, that night, he seemed that way. I started crying because well, sometimes it really hurts to see yourself one way and have someone reject you (or think they reject you) only to watch them go for a girl who is completely everything you aren't (and yes, I mean that in the immoral way). I talked to my fellow women in the Single Women Crew and a lot of them were shocked that I've never had a boyfriend, and just by telling me that, my hope was restored. I realized that there are people in this world who will see my worth and wonder why I'm still single. And eventually, there will be a guy who comes along and wants to change that but not because he wants to complete me but because he knows we can equally benefit on this journey of life together. Plus, I had a moment of bittersweet tears because I realized that all these women in the crew all around the world are so beautiful and have so much greatness inside them and they face the same dilemma I do: they too have never had a boyfriend. The next day and the sequential days thereafter, I seen this guy and it's obvious that something good is happening here. Maybe a crush but ultimately I can tell that God's ultimate plan at this time  was to get me to see how far I've come. A year ago, I was in a broken, battered, bruised place just like Mandy had been, and I thought I would never feel genuine feelings for another boy as long as I lived but thanks be to my Heavenly Father, I found the strength and allowed his grace to envelop me and I am here, a year later with genuine feelings for another member of the male species all the while, I've been attending all my classes and doing really well this semester. I've even started overcoming my fear of talking in front of people. (Yes, you read that right.) I guess the other night, I just did what I always do. I tried to rush God's perfect plan but with God's grace, I am able to realize that maybe something will come of these mutual feelings eventually but right now, because we are both graduating and relocating to different areas, it is not the proper time for us. If something is meant to happen, it will eventually, in God's perfect, beautiful timing. Plus, right now, I'm grateful that I can be friends with this boy and be myself around him. That for me is enough right now.

  Also, I've recently said goodbye or stopped talking to a few people I deemed close friends because I found that they no longer benefited my life and my ultimate destiny. I am so very grateful for the part they played in my story but they are only a small piece of the bigger picture. I've started doing this because it's all a part of growing up.  You start realizing who truly values YOU, and who only values you for WHAT YOU CAN DO so you walk away. Then, this quote from Chapter 17 spoke to me regarding all that I've been dealing with lately regarding relationships and love: "Maybe at the end of the day, all we can do is cling to what completes us (like our best friends) and release what depletes us ( like a guy who can't see the crown jewel standing right in front of him)." There is also more to this quote but that part I'm going to use in my upcoming novel One Last Breath.

   By the time, I finished Never Been To Vegas, I was so into Mandy's story that I was legit invested. So much so that the ending she wrote basically made me cry. Why? Well, they may have been Mandy's words but I heard them in Jesus's voice: "You lose the job because it wasn't your destination, but merely a step along the way. God knows that you were never meant for a cubicle even though you don't yet realize it. You lose the love because to cling to it would hold you back from everything else you're meant to experience. Your arms are now free to grab on to life. You get sidetracked because God knows the only way to get you off the stubborn path you're on is to allow you to run smack dab into a detour. You get discouraged because you're human, and fallible. and sometimes you need those down moments to rest, regroup, and prepare for the up moments. You get blindsided by bad news and beat up by life because this is life and bad things happen, but the beautiful flip side of your present struggle is that it prepares you for your future success. You lose everything you think is so vital to your very existence because God longs for you not just to see but to truly grasp that all you really need in this life is Him. You wander the planet alone for a longer time than you would have liked because you have a destiny that's so special, and so important, and so far beyond anything you could have ever imagined for yourself, a relationship before it's time would only distract you from fulfilling it." I'm sure you're wondering why I gave you the most beautifully written ending to any book ever when I'm trying to convince you to buy it. Well, if that quote doesn't make you want to buy and prove why Mandy Hale is officially one of my heroes, I don't know what will. 

   If you've been moved by this synopsis review of Never Been To Vegas and would like to pre-order it, please visit the following link: Buy This Book; you won't regret it. Matter of fact, I'm going to order a copy despite having already read it because a book is more fun to have and read, once it's bound and you can literally turn the pages correctly. 

For a book trailer that may also persuade you that you need to order this book, please click becoming your own happily ever after.

Thank you Mandy, The Single Women Crew, and everyone at Thomas Nelson, who allowed me this opportunity to help Mandy's message reach more people. I've enjoyed every minute of it.

Until next time, remember, 

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

You've Got to Be In It to Win It♥

Happiness is a form of courage...Hey there. I know it's been a while but I have quite the story for you so let me get started by having you watch a video:
This VLOG depicts what I'll be talking about in this blog :)

Ok, now that you've watched that...let's begin.

As you all know, I'm back at Leo. I was not happy to have to go back and was a little ungrateful. So ungrateful in fact, that I spent the second week of school literally doing the same thing I did last Spring: skipping class. Going to work but skipping class. Why would I do that? Don't worry, I'll get to that.

Finally, after a week of self-pity and spending a week focused on my strengths, my talents, and my insecurities with myself, I said ENOUGH! I focused on Jesus and trusted him and he told me to step out in faith.

On February 1st, I wrote out goals for this month that I vowed I would stick with and they are:

1. Workout 3 times a week 
2. Don't miss any class except on Feb. 21 (thyroid check-up)
3. Write Ch.10-12 of One Last Breath
4. Finish Fifty Shades triology
5. Start preparing research for Sales Presentation (Personal Selling)

I have been reading Demi Lovato's Staying Strong book and that was what it said to do for February 1st. I'm going to do that every month from now on. It really helps you set your most important priorities and the rest becomes white noise.

Anyway, Monday I returned to my classes and I actually enjoyed them. I no longer focused on me going to class, talking in front of the class, doing the assignments, as I was doing all of that alone. Now me and Jesus were together in this. A funny thing happened. I started liking the me that God can see. I've finally begun to love myself.

As some of you may know, I posted a VLOG asking for creative handwritten or hand-drawn Valentines just to use as decoration for my walls. I was trying to inspire creativity. Yet, I didn't expect anything from it. I simply just let God take care of it and guess what? Shocker. He actually did.

In the last blog, you may remember how I said I wanted chocolate for Valentines. I didn't want it for romantic purposes, I just wanted chocolate because I'm a girl. Do I need a real reason for chocolate? :P

On Monday night, the guy I was working with was leaving and I was busy helping a patron find a book they needed for a class assignment. I was so busy with the patron, I didn't even see him walk over to my book and place a Hershey's bar on top. When I was done with the patron, I walked over to go back to my hw and found the gift just sitting there. Since the patron had been a guy and he was still there and talking with the guy I work with, I thought at first that he put it there, or that one of my friends had walked in and placed it on my book and left. So being the bold Leo that I am I spoke up, "Who gave me this?" Sure enough. The guy I worked with slowly raised his hand. It made my day! As you can tell, I was off to a good start for the entire week. Remember how the fortune in my VLOG said: You will soon receive an unexpected gift from an acquaintance. Yes, that happened.

Tuesday was really good because Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually good because I don't have class but I work early in the morning and  then have the rest of the day to just do my hw and laundry and work out.

Wednesday and Thursday were equally good, mostly because I started eliminating people from my life that I feel only weigh me down.

Friday I wasn't really awake when I went to breakfast but as I was leaving the cafe, I followed this girl out of the doorway and something told me to look down. I did and all of a sudden, money was sprawled all along the doorway. I asked the girl if it was her's because I seen that her bookbag was open but she claimed she didn't carry money in her bag. No one else was around except for me. So, I knew then what God did. He rained provision down for me. I picked it up and it turned out it was $28 total. I was a month behind in paying my phone bill money to my mom and this was enough to cover what I owed. Praise God! Remember how the fortune in my VLOG said: new financial resources will soon become available to you. Again, that happened.

Saturday, I went to see Jason Derulo in concert (included in park admission). His show was amazeballs. Below are some pictures: (Provided by my sister's camera phone since I don't have a camera.)

He sang all of my faves of his: It Girl, Talk Dirty, Riding Solo, and the Other Side. His dancers were crazy good. He even let us hear a two day old song he just made in the studio called Wiggle Wiggle. It's going to be a definite hit. You will be turning up to that shit.

As you can see, we (My family and I) were very close to the stage. So close in fact that Sunday, I was surprised when I logged into Facebook and thanks to my sister tagging me, found myself in a picture posted on 933 FLZ's fb page. 

 Yeah, it's only the back of my head but still, the paparazzi caught me. ;-)

Then this week started out good but of course you can't have a trial free life. This week my trial came in the form of an assignment for my marketing class where I was originally assigned to sing and dance in front of the class. The assignment was called Be Creative. I was really stressing it big time. Since I used up all my skips for that class, I knew I had no choice but to face the music (haha no pun intended) and grow a freaking pair. So I prayed that morning and planned on going to class half an hour early to talk to my professor. 

  As I was walking to class, my professor was also walking back from lunch so he met me at the front of the school of business. I met up with him and chatted to him about general things and then told him I was very confused as to the assignment and the girl I was assigned to work with contributed nothing so I honestly told him I had nothing prepared. He goes, "Chelsea, you at least have to give me something." So, I asked if I could write a poem about model airplanes (since that's what we were trying to advertise), and he said sure.

He goes, "You have 20 minutes so go get started." I ran to the library and this was the poem I wrote (which I later shared with the class):

I lost my heart to a model airplane

I watched my heart soar

Like a model airplane

Soaring,

Gliding,

Unexpected crash landing.

If only I wouldn’t have left

My heart’s remote

In the wrong hands.

You shouldn’t either;

Give height to your own dreams

 And watch them take flight

With the purchase of the

Boeing 747.

This poem gave me an idea for a poem that sums up my "love thyself" message pretty nicely. You can view it Model Airplane Heart

    Friday was also Valentine's Day but it turned out I had a very blessed day. I got unexpected Valentine's from two of my friends when I thought I wasn't going to get any this year. You can hear more about my Valentine's day: Happy Valentine's Day 

(And yes, I am aware that I wore the same thing in both of my Valentine's Day videos. I did that purposefully.) 

I've finally started appreciating the love I do have instead of ignoring it for the love I don't have. Being grateful really changes your view on life. For more on being grateful and who was my Valentine this year, read my previous blog A Letter To My Valentine♥

Anyway, today I watched a bunch of Bible teachings and they all talked about not running from the plans of God just because they may make you uncomfortable and I realized I finally overcame my biggest fear: publicly sharing my creativity with the world, face to face. See, I have this great gift of being creative and I write blogs, books, and even poetry but I don't like to read my writing in public for fear of not being accepted for sharing such an intimate part of myself. This is why I hate public speaking so much. It makes me uncomfortable. Yet on Friday, I received the greatest Valentine's day gift of all: I overcame my fear and I've realized that when you stop begging for attention is when you actually get it. 

Mandy Hale explains this better than I do so my final thought will be from her book, Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass. 

Before I get there, let me go ahead and tell you about something sort of poetic the Lord just revealed to me. When I started writing this blog, I was hungry. I mean, famished because I hadn't eaten anything since brunch and I also barely ate anything at brunch. I decided to wait until dinner to eat again so I could really eat my heart out (if you know what I mean). I went and God had prepared a feast for me. There was nachos at the main station, bacon cheeseburgers at the grill, the salad bar was chock full of good toppings, and they even had chocolate pudding out by the yogurt. Usually on the weekends, the cafe disappoints but not today. I was eating alone because I just wanted to get back to blogging and everyone that walked by my table kept looking at me because I had three plates and one bowl in front of me. It looked like I had a four course meal in front of me enough for two people. I left the cafe actually full and satisfied and happy (mostly because of the chocolate pudding). Then God said to me, "This is what I want life to feel like for you every day, Chels. Full and complete, and satisfactory."  Whoa man. 

Conclusively, as long as you focus on what you can't do, you will never do it or you will constantly go around and around struggling with it. As long as you focus on what Jesus can do in you, nothing is impossible. Jesus is the key to life. And not just any life, but a full, complete, and satisfactorily peaceful life. Trust me, I'm living it right now. Not every day is easy because some days you wake up and you still want to sleep. You are sore from that workout you started yesterday or you did an extra set so your muscles ache. You are a little angry at yourself because you gave someone too much credit and yourself not enough. Yet, every morning now, I wake up and expect good things to happen to me. I get up and get ready and run that thought over and over in my head: Something good is going to happen to me today and every day, it does. It's not always big enough for me to share on Facebook but it's big enough that I notice it, and look up and smile at Jesus, and say, "Thanks Handsome." ♥

My next blog will be about what I've been doing in order to maintain a healthier lifestyle and will feature a video of my sister Jamie explaining her weight loss journey. (Jamie if you are reading this, yeah, I forgot to ask you about that. Hope you're ok with it.)

Until next time, remember this: "Here's a little secret that's going to save you a lot of unnecessary grief in life. Are you ready? Your worth is not tied to any person. Life will be a miserable experience if you spend it worrying about others' disapproval rather than letting your light shine without fear. I'm learning that not everyone is meant to understand us, approve of us, or join us on our journeys. Some would slow us. Others would deter us. Some would jump in the car and take off without us! And some are giant roadblocks that would keep us from the destiny that God has for us. So trust that the people who strayed from your path don't belong there anyway. Not everybody can go where you're going. 

An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: you find it. People are naturally drawn like magnets to those who know who they are and cannot be shaken! Looking to someone else for the things you should be giving yourself only serves to water down the person you were born to be. It is vital to be so rooted in who you are that you're not yanked off your feet by someone else's opinion or disapproval. 

The bottom line: the ones who are meant to get you will get you, and the ones who aren't will be mystified by you. And that's okay. It's not your place to try to please everyone or earn everyone's approval. After all, you're not here to fit nicely inside anyone's mold. You're here to break it." -Mandy Hale, exerpt from Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass.

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

A Letter to my Valentine♥

Happiness is a form of courage...
It appears I always did. Either way, this one is for my Valentine.

 Jesus, thank you for being the only man in this life that has never let me down. I love that you are always there for me even when I don't understand why I'm upset. You are and sometimes you come and don't say a word, and just hold me. It is there that I am home. In your arms, I am home. I love you♥

2014: The Year that I Become Unstoppable

Happiness is a form of courage... I bet you thought I was going to leave you hanging forever. Am I going back to Saint Leo or am I not? I'll get to that but first let me tell you about the rest of my break.

I love being on break because usually it's not that stressful. I just spend time writing and then save all my money for school since I don't usually get hired by any part-time job in my area.

This break, though, was no exception. I wore no-make up unless I was going to Wal-mart. (Have you ever been to Wal-mart? There are way too many creeps.) And most days when I'm home I dress like a bum since I plan on seeing no one (the bonus came when my camera broke) so sweat pants were my uniform of choice.

Drake wrote a song about me once. He sang, "Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling, with no make-up on." Every girl out there thought it was about them but he actually wrote it for me.

Anyway, so the first weekend in January, I went to the movies with my family and saw

 This was so good because the media makes Justin out to be a bad guy(just like Michael Jackson, etc.) and he's not. Sure, he makes mistakes. He's human. My mom saw this movie and when we exited the theater she turned to me and said: "I still love Justin." Me too, Mom. Me too.♥

 This was really good. Very tragic story but the quote in it spoke such truth: It's what we as storytellers do; we restore order through imagination and instill hope again, again, and again. -Saving Mr. Banks♥

Yet, I went to the movies without make-up. I've been in public without make-up before but this was the first time I didn't even worry about what I looked like before I left the house. Why have I suddenly changed and accepted myself?

Because I spent the whole Christmas break studying 

 Joyce Meyer's book Beauty For Ashes and the Action Plan to help with further Bible study. I entered 2013 with a lot of demons that I had carried around for 21 years and I decided that I would end 2013 by putting those demons behind me. Obviously, it's a day to day process but I can fully tell you that I feel lighter emotionally because I gave God all the ashes of my past that I've been holding onto.

Once that was complete, he revealed some things to me. I'll get to that in a few.

This past week came and went and I accomplished nothing other than helping my sister with her English hw. Her grade in the class went up 3% because of my help so it helped me feel that even though I didn't write more to my book, I made a positive difference in my sister's education. Which made me stop listening to that voice in my head that constantly tells me "I'm not smart enough" to finish college.

The main reason it was so hard to write was because Monday, I finally got an email from the financial aid appeal committee letting me know that they could give me $2000. That made my balance/bill for Fall semester go down to $1899.96. 

Tuesday, I got an email from the department chair and my advisor telling me I wouldn't be able to take as many online classes as I wanted to.

I had wanted to take 3 campus classes and then take the other four I have left online. I figured because I was supposed to graduate in May they would make an exception. I was wrong. I took matters into my own hands and emailed the dean for specific approval letting him know why I wanted to finish this semester. I prefer online classes because they are easier for me, they require independent study, and the textbooks and classes are usually cheaper when grouped together. 

Yet, the dean denied my request so of course, I sat for the rest of the day and bawled my eyes out because I always end up messing up and failing a class because I have a lot of insecurities regarding speaking in front of my peers. 

I finally decided based on how much the textbooks would cost me. That's how I picked my classes. And also which professor I trusted for the on campus marketing class. 

Yet, once I emailed my advisor with my schedule, he emailed me back on Thursday telling me that he couldn't register me because there was still a hold. 

Then, I remembered that the unwritten rule at Saint Leo is that the balance must be $500 or less for your hold to be removed unless you agree to a payment plan. Which left no option but for me to find out how much the payment plan would be for. Yet, I felt that I was cheated by being only given $2000 when I needed $3500 to register and didn't want to agree to a payment plan until I knew for sure that I could pay it each month. I don't want to be in anymore deeper debt than I already am. On Thursday, I found out I have already $41,000 in student loans outstanding. That probably doesn't even include whatever aid I might get for next semester since I won't be finishing this semester. 

Despite everything, I'm going to be working twenty hours a week and I'll be registered for 5 classes, 2 of which will be online. 

 I have to come up with $250 down payment and then I will have a monthly payment each month starting on Feb. 15. It's honestly too expensive to go to school just to make decent money in a dream job where most of my money will just go back to the government. So much for land of the free. More like, land of the bound. In other news, Obama's two daughters will get to go to any college they want for free. Isn't that just peaches and cream? What irks me the most is that I have a 20 hour job and I don't even get to use any of my paycheck for things I want to like: chocolate festival at MOSI for $21.95, Ladies' Night at Applebees, a Godiva basket for Valentine's day in order to treat myself. But no, I'm young and not free because my noose is tied and Saint Leo has me hanging by a thread always. I won't be recommending this school to anyone once I graduate because my whole experience beside working at the library and having class with a select group of professors has just left me feeling used and abused, and poor.

I'll be returning to school Thursday since I will be registering Friday. Yet, it was nice that a lot of my friends keep texting me that they can't wait until I'm back. My roommate is glad to have me back.(Weird, I know. I have real friends). 

My only other option beside staying home and hoping I get a job close to home and pay back my balance would have probably meant that I never would have finished school; my other option would have been to marry a rich guy and yeah, I wasn't too ready for that. Still awaiting my Christian Grey. ;-)

Yet, I believe I have the talent and determination to be unstoppable this year and see this dream of being a publicist out to completion while also seeing my dream of being a best selling novelist out to completion so yeah, you can't stop me. No one will. Not SLU. Not financial aid. Not the government. Not my parents. Not my negative friends who don't believe in me. Not the haters. Especially not my worst enemy: Me.♥

If I have any doubts as to what God revealed to me, I will go see the counselor at SLU since they already know me because of last spring semester and that's including in the cost of my attendance at SLU. So I'm going to take advantage of it so my insecurities don't stop me.

Thursday night, I was watching Joyce and she said something that I knew God was saying directly to me:

Until next time, remember: "You don't have to be afraid that you're not up for whatever it is that you've got in front of you to do."-Joyce Meyer♥

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

Goodbye 2013: Youtube Style (Top 5 Videos), etc.♥

Happiness is a form of courage...I realized this year how much I love Youtube. It's a free service where you can be entertained. They have music, commercials, movies, and really funny people. You can even discover new talent on there. So, I've decided this year, I'm starting a new trend: a blog about my Top 5 favorite Youtube videos from the year. Without further ado, here goes:

Number Five: "Hold On We're Going Home"-Drake (Cover performed by Max Schneider)

I found Max Schneider technically in June 2012. I turned on Nickelodeon and the movie "Rags" was currently playing and I instantly fell in love. From then on, I've been a Schneider monkey. I've even tried to get him to come to Saint Leo to perform but no such luck. Anyway, now that my crush on him is over, I still support his talent and when he came out with this cover, it was literally when I wanted to marry this song. (Yeah, you read that right). Anyway, in January of 2013, Max's first single/music video came out, "Nothing Without Love." His debut album comes out this year so remember the name because you're going to start hearing a lot about Max Schneider.

Number Four:  Pumpkin Carving with Miley Cyrus (Jenna Marbles)

If you don't like Jenna Marbles, you basically don't have a funny bone in your body. I've always loved her videos and loyally watch every one she uploads but no one makes fun of celebrities better than her. This video is no exception. My favorite part of this video is when she goes, "People always ask me why I do that thing with my tongue. That just means you're fertile." LMAO. So funny!

Number Three:  1 Million Thank You Party -Live Chat with MKTO

In case you don't know who MKTO are, they are a duo of two guys who met on a tv show and instantly became best friends. The duo are called MKTO because not only are the two artists in the duo named Malcolm Kelly and Tony Oller but their music is for Misfit Kids and Total Outcasts. They are a pop duo currently about to release their debut album on Jan. 31, 2014 but have already released three hit singles. This year they plan to open for Emblem 3 on the BandLife Tour. They made this video after their music video for "Thank You", their debut single, reached one million views. In celebration, they decided to host a live chat and they recorded it. I love this because you can see how funny they are. It is thirty eight minutes long so only view it if you have nothing left to do. (I watched it when I should have been doing my homework. Oops.) Trust me, if you watch the whole thing, you won't be sorry.

Number Two: Killer In the House Prank (Toppy Nikci)

If you don't know who Toppy Nikci is, then congrats. You live under a rock. Minus the fact that he's my best friend, He's an Albanian-American comedian from New York. He started his channel in August of 2013 and as of December 2013, he had over 500 subscribers. Once you watch one of his videos, you'll be hooked. This video in one word: KILLS. We all love pranking our family but mom pranks are equally the best simply because moms are so sweet and have the best reactions. In this video, Toppy pranks his mom by pretending there is a killer in the house when his mom gets home. Even Ella his kitty is featured. When he mumbles, "some guy...hit me in the head," I die laughing every time. Then his mom screams when "the killer" comes out, hysterical. Hurry up and watch it before the killer gets you! Muhahaha.

Number One: Loving The Elderly (Toppy Nikci)
This video is my absolute favorite this year not only because it's loving and funny at the same time but because it really shows a side of Toppy I know all too well. He's super funny but most people don't know he's also a sweetheart. My favorite part of this video is each of the elderly people's reactions and when this video was interrupted by a random guy asking Toppy about his camera, he replies with his familiar New York accent, "Yeah, exactly." Gets me every time. Hurry up and spread the love. Subscribe to Toppy's channel before 2014 starts because this is his year, people.

Congrats to those that made the list and to the new talent Youtube will discover this year: Hats off to you. May all your dreams come true this year.♥

Before I go, I've been reading Stay Strong by Demi Lovato and in it for today, Demi said to make a list of all you've accomplished this year.

My greatest accomplishments in 2013

1. You only know you love someone when you let them go
2. Forgiveness sets you free and allows you to heal.
3. Starting and writing a good chunk of my book, One Last Breath.
4. Getting better grades in college...(I had straight Bs this semester.)
5. Reading a lot of books and learning a lot more
6. Learning to love me
7. Realizing guys are people too
8. Understanding and coming to a good place in my singleness
9. In order to gain friends, you must know what it means to be a good friend
10. Learning to be thankful and positive

As I was about to post this blog before I did, I wanted a last picture of me in 2013 and unfortunately, my camera broke but thankfully, my sister had her new Nokia Lumia to take pictures on. (I guess smartphones aren't that dumb, after all). So I'm off to celebrate the end of the year with my family and Dick Clark and all the food my mom is about to make so Happy NEW YEAR everyone. ♥

Until next time (and next year), remember, "Today I celebrate all that has been & all that has yet to be. The good, the bad, the happy, the sad..it all makes me..ME. :)"-Mandy Hale♥

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

A Christmas Filled With Hope♥

Happiness is a form of courage...Most of the time when I sit down to write a blog, I know exactly what I'm going to write but today, I've literally put off writing this because I didn't know exactly how it was going to go so, if you aren't scared of a little spontaneity then follow me down the pot hole...I mean the rabbit hole.

I put off writing this blog because I was hoping I would be able to blog about the fact that Saint Leo gave me additional financial aid and I am all registered for my last semester but instead, I still haven't heard from them....which is only making me start to feel helpless.

I mean what a great Christmas gift would that have been?

Speaking of Christmas, let me tell you about it.

This year, even though I had a bill for school, I decided to put my faith into action and give gifts to my immediate family only and picked my four closest friends and sent them Christmas cards. Basically, in total, my gifts for everyone including my dogs cost me less than $100. It was my cheapest most financially responsible Christmas yet. Yet, this only meant that my gifts had to be really thought out.

My parents had a rough year financially so they only bought us calendars and one gift each.

My sister Jayde bought everyone a lottery scratch off. I lost.

My sister Jamie bought herself presents and bought my mom a present.

In case you didn't know Christmas is my favorite holiday for two reasons: It's my boy Jesus' birthday and it's the season of giving and I love Jesus and giving equally. I decided that instead of dwelling on my dire circumstances, I was going to enjoy a happy, healthy holiday with my family so I did♥

 I helped decorate Christmas cookies this year...just call me Martha Stewart. :)

My family got dressed up and went to Christmas Eve service at church...since JESUS is the REASON for the SEASON.

Merry Christmas Eve ♥

 It was Katrina's first Christmas with us.

How I love my little nugget♥

You can bet I spoil my little "niece."♥

 Hazel only posed for this picture because I told her it was for Justin Bieber. Even dogs have celebrity crushes.

 My best friend and I are too cute♥

After eating dinner and Katrina getting a visit from her dad Dakota who brought each dog a present, we had cookies and watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. We usually watch A Christmas Story on Christmas Eve every year but this year, we tried something new. 

We slept in until 11:45 and then woke up and opened our presents. 

Check what I got for Christmas

Then came time for me to pass out my presents:

I gave Jamie: her favorite movie Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging 

I gave Jayde: one of her Top five favorite movies: Perks of Being A Wallflower

I gave my dad: a DVD of five Three Stooges episodes (we always watched it together when I was little)

I gave my mom: a new alarm clock and Power Thoughts by Joyce Meyer

I gave Geniveve: a box of cookies (her favorite), a bag of treats, and new shampoo that smells like Apricot. (It's like Victoria Secret for dogs lol)

I gave Hazel: a new toy that was leopard print and a bag of treats

I gave Katrina: a bed with a blanket and a bag of beef jerky (her favorite) 

My babies are spoiled...they know Chelly loves them.

All in all, it was a great Christmas!

I'm just going to keep positive confessions about my schooling knowing that, "I believe God and will see His glory." You should make this your confession too in 2014 because it will keep your faith strong despite any storm that comes your way. 

God knows I really WANT to go back to school so only by God's grace and favor, I believe it will happen. 

At least at school, I have a comfortable bed and my own room. I even have a free-flowing shower at school. Basically, at school I live the good life, and I think I took it for granted all these years but coming home, I can see how good I have it when I'm away from home and I really just want to go back. There are other reasons why I don't like staying home for too long but I feel they are too personal to publicize them.

The other night I was watching the news and they mentioned, Justin Bieber's unconfirmed retirement from show business but the news media didn't know if it was true because "there has been no comment from Bieber's publicist." I heard that and a spark enveloped my chest and I got that "butterflies in your stomach" feeling similar to be excited to see that special someone. I guess you can say I'm excited to start my future as a continued author and a publicist. I just hope Saint Leo doesn't deny me my dream's completion. 

Hey, it's almost the end of the year, which means that I will be blogging about my top five favorite Youtube videos for 2013 (a new thing I'm going to start) and also about what I resolve to do in 2014. Yet, it's also a good time to get those tax write-offs and donate to a good cause like the charities featured under the DONATE NOW section to your right or by helping someone you know finish school. :) 

Before I leave you with a final thought, here's a funny outtake of Hazel's Christmas picture and my breakfast the first Sunday I was home from college: 

 Hazel was literally sticking her tongue out at the camera.

 My dad brought us Taylor Ham back from NJ. I love Taylor ham and cheese sandwiches. So So good!

Until next time remember, "As for me, I will always have hope.-Psalm 71:14"

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~