Day 30: Write a letter to your future mate saying whatever you want to say

Happiness is a form of courage..This is it. The post you've all been waiting for. The final 30 day blog challenge post. I never did it last year when I did this challenge because I was still in the process of getting over someone who was not even living up to the standards I'm about to set with this letter. Why did I wait? Mostly because I'm a little afraid of putting this out there. It may scare a huge amount of guys away...but I guess, the ones that are left standing are the ones worth taking a good look at. Without further ado, here goes everything I have wanted to say for so long:

Dear Future Husband,

Just those three words have triggered the memory of the melody of a popular song by someone who isn't afraid to lay down the law when it comes to men, Ms. Meghan Trainor.

Yet, I'm not here to talk about her today. I'm here to talk about me, and you, Mr. Mystery. A guy I may have met or have yet to meet who I will one day marry.

With that word, many guys will have exited this window, and found themselves clicking onto Instagram or Facebook looking for pictures of scantily clad women.

Being that you are still here reading this, you've shown some great potential. And now I can trust to share what's really on my mind.....




Dear Future Husband,

Thanks for sticking around this long.

I don't know where to start really because no one has stuck around this long before.

Hi, My name is Chelsea DeVries. I don't know if you've had a chance to look around this blog, or you've been to this blog before, but I'm a writer. Words mean the world to me.

Matter of fact, I had to read a book once for a class I didn't really want to take in college but it was about the language of love and there are five specific ones. You'll have to read the book to know them all but mine turned out to be a big surprise: words of affirmation and quality time.

This means I like when people encourage me with their words and give me their time. Quality time doesn't just mean they spend five seconds listening to me talk and then tune me out for something more interesting...Quality time means that the person looks me in the eyes and listens to what I have to say genuinely. The right way to love me, according to this book, is offering me encouraging, heartfelt words and making me feel that what I have to say is of value. I'd say that  I have to say should and does matter to me, and I hope that it makes a difference for anyone that reads what I write.

Since I know that it's already a lot for you to read this all the way through, I'll save you a little work. If you want to know your own love language, Click here now.

Anyway. I'm a writer because when I was younger and growing up, I was always a shy, soft-spoken child. I became this way because I always had a sunny demeanor on life, and naturally, my peers saw it as a threat, so they bullied me. Which caused me to feel as though if I spoke too loud, I may get stopped, pushed down, yelled at, argued with, rejected, left without a friend.

Needless to say, I've got a lot of trust issues. I've overcome a lot of the bullying and learned that being true to myself is the only way I'm going to stay happy, and I've decided to be the bold, fearless young woman I always knew I could be, and over the past two years, I've learned how to love that person in a healthy way. Writing is the only way I've ever gotten people to pay attention.

Therefore, now that you're here this long, I'm guessing you think you can handle me despite what I've faced in my past and that's a really good sign.

Yet, I'm going to need someone who understands the following:

I'm always going to love Jesus more than you. He was the first man I ever met in this life that died in pursuit of my love. I'd say that takes the cake. Now, of course, I don't want you to die for me to prove that you are worthy of my love. I just want you to be willing to do anything for me in the same way Jesus died for me, thinking of me the entire time.

I love dogs more than people. I love people; yet dogs have always loved me for me. They've never left in search of anyone better, betrayed me, or intentionally hurt me in any way.  My best friend is in fact a dog. If you don't love Jesus or dogs, now is the time to walk out. We have no future if you don't love either.

Now that this is settled, and you are still here, I'm really intrigued. There may be something happening here that is greater than the both of us.

I'm a Leo so I'm going to have my moments of serious pride, and I'm going to lose my temper too quickly at times.

If you can't handle my sass, then you don't deserve my ass. lol. I don't know if anyone has ever said that, but I just did. What what?!

I'm not going to list a bunch of dealbreakers because as much as I believe in setting standards, relationships develop more genuinely if you don't start them by saying things like:

No Albanians
No guys with a gap between their teeth
No guys with tattoos

This is the 21st century and we live in a society where pretty much anything goes so I don't expect you to be perfect; I just expect you to be reasonably sane and in good mental health.

It would also mean a lot if you respected the things that make me me:
a tendency to streak my hair with purple hair dye, the tendency to curse like a sailor because I don't care, and a fervent love of street skateboarding, broadway musicals, and choreographing dances to my favorite songs. Oh, and I like to practice singing different songs in the shower. It's the only place where I can find out what genres fit my voice best. I also have a tendency to tell my mom everything because I admire her so much.

Now that you've been debriefed, and in all honesty, let me just say thanks for reading this. I was really quite nervous writing this. I mean it. Ask my family. I had a spontaneous rash appear on my neck while I was writing this. #AwkwardTimesforaRash

I cannot wait to meet you. Or reunite with you. You, young handsome man who loves Jesus and dogs, and one day hopefully me.

Until we meet again, I'll be singing this song loud everywhere I go

Love,
Chelsea
xoxo
~Just Keep Swimming~

Lyrics from Meghan Trainor's song, Dear Future Husband❤

Dear future husband,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life

Take me on a date
I deserve it, babe
And don't forget the flowers every anniversary
'Cause if you'll treat me right
I'll be the perfect wife
Buying groceries
Buy-buying what you need

You got that 9 to 5
But, baby, so do I
So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies
I never learned to cook
But I can write a hook
Sing along with me
Sing-sing along with me (hey)

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting crazy
Tell me everything's alright

Dear future husband,
Here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life
Dear future husband,
If you wanna get that special lovin'
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night

After every fight
Just apologize
And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right
Even if I was wrong
You know I'm never wrong
Why disagree?
Why, why disagree?

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting crazy
Tell me everything's alright

Dear future husband,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life (hey, baby)
Dear future husband,
Make time for me
Don't leave me lonely
And know we'll never see your family more than mine

I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed (hey)
Open doors for me and you might get some kisses
Don't have a dirty mind
Just be a classy guy
Buy me a ring
Buy-buy me a ring, (babe)

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting crazy
Tell me everything's alright

Dear future husband,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life
Dear future husband,
If you wanna get that special loving
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night

Future husband, better love me right

Lessons Learned from a Short but Sweet Social Media Cleanse

Happiness is a form of courage... You may not know this but I'm not popular. Not in the traditional sense of the word. The only power I have is with my words. My greatest source of influence is with this blog. Here, I surprisingly reach 200 people per post. Recently, I have been getting upset over social media. It's changed and not what it once was. Thanks to the new algorithms they started using, I feel as though hardly anyone on my social media sites can see my posts, and that includes my Tweets.

Personally, I always felt drawn to Twitter just because of the idea of reaching people you don't even know, and getting their attention with a 140 character little blurb of just the right words (and now emojis). I also loved how you could instantly tweet your fave celebs and they would reply right back. It was like a dream come true for a girl like me who loved writing fan mail letters to her fave male celebrities. Plus, I loved how on Twitter your posts were seen by everyone regardless. There was no minimum number of likes you needed or shares or comments. You just got to express yourself and somebody somewhere who either followed you or didn't would start a conversation, retweet your tweet if they agreed, and well, I always thought the favorite tweets were reserved for the really cool tweets you got back from that one celebrity you never thought would see your mention, etc.

Up until 2012, I had like 15 tweets in my favorites. Most of them were replies I got from my favorite authors or skateboarders.

Like for instance, this tweet. I was the first fan that Ryan ever replied to. (All those fan letters did aid in my favor).

Yet, now Twitter has become a competition of who can get the most retweets and favorites on each tweet. I started getting upset because my own sisters were not supporting me on social media. Then, there was the people on my TimeLine on Twitter who got like 30 favorites and 50 plus retweets per Tweet. For example, on Christmas, I was on Twitter and Ansel Elgort posted a tweet and within 7 seconds he had 617 retweets and 538 favorites. IN SEVEN SECONDS. There is no fault in them stars there. ♥

Anyway, I'm not someone who has ever begged for attention because I always leave it in God's hands and if something is meant to reach people, God will see to it that it reaches the people that need it or need to see it.

So this past Wednesday, I was fed up (once again) with social media. I also was dealing with a ton of family drama that I didn't want to vent to social media about (I'm training myself on being a better PR professional). My social media cleanse would include all social media (Facebook, Twitter, and I couldn't even stalk my fave celebrities instagrams). It went from Wednesday January 21 at noon to Monday January 26 at noon.

Surprisingly, I found that even though I wasn't posting on social media, I still heard from people. People even sent me texts to check up on me. It was incredibly wonderful. Yet, I learned something about myself from this whole experiment:

That and I MATTER to the world much more than RTs, Faves, Likes, Comments, or Algorithms can define. 

Albert Einstein once said, "Don't strive to be a success; strive to be of value."♥ 

As much as I would love to have my phone explode because my Tweets literally shut down Twitter, or to get that blue check mark that means you are Twitter Verified, I like me and my social media the way it is. I mean, I use it to connect with people. Not to market myself first, to become famous, or even to make money. Those are nice ideas but they don't impress me. My life goal is and always has been to be an inspiration to young people everywhere and to connect with people on a personal level. So yeah, I may tweet about personal matters sometimes but that is because it keeps me aware that at the end of the day, I may have accomplished a lot of REALLY AMAZING, GREAT things so far in my life but I'm still ordinary Chelsea. And I don't ever want to change that no matter who verifies me or chooses to support me.♥

Some people you just have to follow on Twitter have some wise words I love seeing in my Twitter Timeline:

Follow her at @MissMandyHale on Twitter

Follow her at @Emitoms

Mandy Hale aka @TheSingleWoman recently posted a short blog on comparing your life with others.

Lastly, do I think this blog will make me popular? Maybe, maybe not. The truth is I had fun writing it and I'm just happy I have a place to share my thoughts with those who care enough to read them. 

Emily Thomas just tweeted something that I think concludes this blog rather nicely:

Until next time, remember: "Jesus made himself of no reputation...We all want to be well thought of but to be free, you have to be you." -Joyce Meyer♥

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea 

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~