Wednesday, November 21, 2018

#WriterRevelations: Trust and Obey

Since college...I've suffered with social anxiety so it was only a miracle that at the end of September, I finally decided to trust and obey Jesus and just go to the young adult group at my church for the first time in 2 years.

And, it was awesome, and I realized the only way to rid yourself of your fears is to face them.

Then, I started suffering from general anxiety and depression for the entire month of October. I couldn't even read or write my way out of it. I wasn't even sleeping because I would tormented in the middle of the night with thoughts of the things people said to me (usually critical and judgmental in nature), and it was affecting my every day life and well-being.

Sleep is where your mind repairs itself, and on top of it, I work on my feet 20 plus hours a week, and do extreme workouts via Beachbody. My body without rest is a breeding ground for getting sick.

I was scheduled to leave on Friday October 26 to head to the Port of Miami and head out on open waters on my first ever cruise but before I left, I used poetry to gather my thoughts.

My cruise was extremely necessary because I am always busy striving toward the next goal that I never usually simply celebrate life but God wanted to overwhelm me with his favor.
 I witnessed the sunrise over the Atlantis.

 I visited the Atlantis and spent time on the beach.
This picture encapsulates everything that this trip did for me. It reminded me that we were made for freedom.

The first Monday I was home from my trip I finally wrote a brand new scene in my WIP,
which only meant that I was fixed, peace and sound mind, within my soul.

Yet, I was finally happy and ready to conquer the world and all my tasks again with fresh eyes, and an unexpected door was open to me out of the blue.

A connection I made at a wine dinner got in touch with me, and it turns out, she had a full-time job for me. It is close to my house and the pay is much better than I ever made at my current job. And I was promised that within ninety days, my pay will be increased.

I will admit, I hate that life is always like this, I finally find solid ground. I was used to working at my current job, I was actually getting along with my coworkers, and now a monkey threw a wrench at my CD player, and my soundtrack keeps skipping.

I just pray I still have time to write and time to do The Smart Cookie because those are my life destinies, and no amount of money will ever make me want to give those up. I am a creative introvert who loves to help see other people succeed. And not writing for ten months was bad enough on my psyche. Please pray for me no matter what. All in all, I know that now is a new chance for me to trust and obey.

And if you are suffering from anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or just any ailment of your mental state, please share this with whomever you think will benefit from this post. In case no one ever openly said this to you, even Jesus became depressed and had to overcome it:

Until next time, remember:

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