#WriterWednesday: How A New Year Always puts Things in Perspective

I woke up this morning and I didn't want to get out of bed. I was completely sad. I've just realized lately that I still struggle with issues of confidence here and there. Last night for instance was one of those times.

So this morning, the sadness still was heavy in my heart. It was less a sadness of why am I still single and more of a why am I still so shy?

I've found that throughout my life I've been a shy person mostly because of what happened to me the first time I ever ventured out in a social setting, I was publicly rejected and humiliated. And yeah, what's that the singer Aaliyah once sang, If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself and try again.

Then, there's been a lot of other public rejection I've faced. (outside of my writing career) and it's left me really struggling socially. Most of which, you will read about once my memoir is released.

Normally, at 24 years old, you are at the top of your game because you finally have friends you trust and can confide in, and hang out with.

I just struggle opening up to people because they can and will hurt me.

I've realized this may be part of the reason why I'm still single...and now that I've realized it, I'm going to do something about it.

Goals For 2016!

1.Avoid Caffeine after 5 p.m.

2. Get in shape and watch my calories again

3. Write 1000 words every day

4. Trust God with everything (big or small, he cares about it all).

5. Spend time with my dogs and know that it's okay to spoil them with love and cookies.

6. Work on getting my license back and finally getting a car

7. Travel More; Become a Student of Culture

8. Volunteer at my local library

9. Start attending acting workshops again

10. Finding inner peace even in the every day

Here's to making 2016 way better than 2015 but 2015 wasn't all bad:

Until next time, my prayer for 2016 is that you find your God-given destiny and go for it, no matter who or what comes against you because after all, nothing is impossible with God.

Now say this every day of 2016: I Declare...everything that doesn't line up with God's vision for my life is subject to change. Sickness, trouble, lack, mediocrity are not permanent. They are only temporary. I will not be moved by what I see but by what I know. I am a victor and never a victim. I will become all God has created me to be.

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

#BookReview: #NeverHaveIEver by @KTHeaney #WriterWednesday

 So I was intrigued to read this book for two reasons: one being that I also was writing a memoir, and in order to find the niche for my memoir, I've spent the past three years reading a lot of memoirs.
For all the memoirs I have read, please see my goodreads page.

   The other gaping reason I decided to pick up this book is because like Katie, I have spent (24 years) without one single date. No boyfriend whatsoever. And I can see the expression you are giving the computer screen: either one of pure (possibly faned) shock or one of pity.

And I'm about to smack that look right off your face if you don't stop right there.

This is why I related to Katie's book so much. And her very honest lack of a love life/ almost love life story gripped me from the first to the last word.

My favorite parts of the book were when she starts out talking about her first celebrity crush on JTT and how she wrote in her Lisa Frank diary to commemorate all her new grade school crushes.

Or maybe my favorite parts of the book were when she talks about how when she got to college, and couldn't pursue a social life right away because, ""My hyper-sensitive need to be a functional human being during the day always got in the way of my nights."

The following are some of my favorite quotes from the book and stood out to me as profound truths when I read Katie's memoir:

Honestly if slut shaming is not okay, why is virgin shaming okay?

Then when she talked about a guy she almost dated but nothing ever really became official so she got over him the way most girls do: moped around, watched Sex and the City, and slept it off. Until one day her best friend Rylee suggested they get high and play Dream Phone aka one of my favorite games as a kid growing up:

Her prose about this game and how strange of a concept it really is had me laughing so hysterically. Most of the book had me laughing hysterically so much so that my family thought I officially cracked mentally. Oh well, as if the pistachio doesn't fall far from the nut family tree. 

  Anyway, let me tell you this: I highly recommend this book because not only is it relatable in its awkward first person prose and voice about a young girl trying and failing at finding love throughout her first 25 years of life. I also want to let you know that if (like me) you have yet to find love. Don't even sweat it. What I loved most about Katie's memoir was that she made it a point to point out how the sad fact that we are still single is only because others around us feel the need to compete about it, and pressure us, and point out how sad that is. Not yet finding love is not sad. I believe it just means that no one has met your standards yet and in today's fast and loose society having standards makes you like a shiny new never used Iphone 6. No gunk, no glitches, and all yours for the experiencing. Tweet This And ask anyone who's ever held a brand new Iphone what that moment (thought fleeting) is like. The heavenly choirs sing and the lights get brighter. 

   I believe that thought I have yet to find love, God can make a way when there appears to be none. He's done that in other areas of my life so I know for a fact it isn't just words but manifested faith in God's faithfulness and goodness can cause it to happen to any of us. Do you believe it? 

   Recently, I made a Tinder which is somewhat not my style but my sister offered to help me and so I said why not? Even though I have yet to message all my matches back since I made the profile due to the fact that I have no smartphone of my own nor tablet, it was thrilling to see how quickly guys messaged me. They probably wonder what happened to me. (Or not). But hey, you can't say I don't try or put myself out there. 

The main reason I know that I haven't found love yet is because I'm not looking or worried about it right now. My career is my boyfriend, and Jesus is my husband. And I know you just side-eyed the computer right there (I will SMACK you) but I'm serious. If I'm not worried about it, why should you?

Until next time, remember: 

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

#WriterWednesday: One Year Ago Today

According to Facebook, one year ago today I had just returned from my beach vacation with my sisters and Mom.... On this blog, http://chellyzlife.blogspot.com/2014/05/living-that-beach-bum-life-my.html the pictures tell a story of love and friendship between my sisters and I.

One year ago, I was in the same boat. Living at home, looking for just the right job but willing to do just about anything to have a job in general, and working on my book. Today, I'm still in the same boat but now I've finished school and no longer owe Saint Leo anything, not a dime or ounce more of my time. Yesterday, I finished my novel after 3 years of strenuous work and self-doubt. Lately, I've been a little down at the fact that I've realized so many girls I know now are married and have started families of their own (including girls from high school who mocked me when I told them that I believed true love is real).

Isn't it funny how things change but things also still appear to look the same?

Yet, things have changed.

I got smarter.
My heart grew a bit harder and eventually stronger.
I finally let go and walked away.
I accomplished one of my life goals of graduating from college.
I accomplished another by writing a book that will speak to millions.
I may not have a job but I put positive efforts toward my future every day.
I've become more merciful toward others because I've gone through similar things.
And in the midst of all these things, I've learned that trusting God is the only real thing I can do.

Until next time, remember: I'm living proof that grace always wins. -Matthew West

I'd love to hear how you've grown as a person in the comments below. Any change big or small is proof of growth. Celebrate it.

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~