#WriterWednesday: How I Found Myself While Doing A Weight Loss Program

I'd hate to start out a blog post like this but the truth is for most of my life, I've felt like I can't really be myself. I've always felt proud of the person I am and the fact that I recognized who I was from an early age. I 've always been someone that cannot just be labeled or prematurely defined.

So recently near the end of August, I was contacted by a Beachbody coach on a Facebook picture I posted making a joke of how my unlimited meal plan really changed the way I look. In a bad way? No. In a noticeable way? Yes.

Plus, being that I've still not yet found the man who will love for me, I started to believe that I must lose weight and become this shredded version of myself in order for my dream guy (wherever he may be or whoever he may be) to love me Delusional thought #1

I also believed that by losing weight and becoming this different version of myself on the outside, I would be able to fit into the SoCal lifestyle when I do move there. Delusional thought #2

This coach gained what little trust I had by confirming my two current beliefs. So I spent $150 on a Team Beachbody Challenge and was beyond stoked to get started. The program I enrolled in was the 21 Day Fix Extreme. You find out your target calories and are supposed to abstain from the use of alcohol, sweets, and fatty fast food meals.

The first seven days I messed up big time because I was using the Shakeology in addition to three meals a day instead of as a meal replacement. So once I admitted my mistake to my coach, she offered to check in twice a day.

I started to really do good. I ended up losing two pounds in one week and for me, somebody with hypothyroidism and multiple food allergies, that was HUGE!

Then, I got to September 21, I woke up and weighed myself and somewhere along the line, I gained back the two pounds. Did I eat unhealthy food and consume alcohol? Yes.

Do I feel that that was the sole reason I gained the weight back? Heck no.

See the week after that first blissful week, I started to get sick to my stomach. I'm talking in the worst way you can imagine, and then some. Plus, I had to go to work while being sick and do long shifts on an empty stomach and while dizzy and lightheaded.

All in all, I loved the workout aspect of Team Beachbody.

Yet, I prefer lifestyle changes that include each meal already suggested or planned out for me.

Do I think Shakeology and 21 Day really work? Sure, if you have the money to do multiple rounds.

I do not since I just got this job at Wal-mart three months ago.

Plus, I don't think it's necessary to spend that kind of money on a lifestyle change/health plan.

Basically, the truth is I am 25 years old and I want to indulge in the sweets, the booze, and the fast food without feeling guilty about it.

Do I think I could lose a little weight? Yes, but couldn't we all really.

My point here is that at the end of the day, this world if FULL to the brim especially nowadays with pressures from every side of this all important go with the flow or get the hell out of our way mentality and I find it to be utter bullshit.

For example, you can see it in the U.S. election. God forbid you actually admit you agree with Donald Trump. You might as well be admitting to all your past and future sexual partners that you have every STD or STI known to man.

As you can see, I am an individual. I think for myself. Have my own beliefs and pride myself on the fact that I tend to go against the grain in every aspect a person possibly could.

That's just the thing that bugs me about the whole Beachbody thing. I realized that I need a lifestyle change that makes me feel comfortable being me not scolds me for being honest about my mistakes and tells me to keep pushing when I was rounding the verge on my second near-death experience.

All in all, as an individual in a free country I would hope to be greeted with a little more respect and admiration, especially more love. And a lot less of rolling eyes and scoffing at me for being NOTHING less than me.

Until next time, remember: Individuality is what makes us human and separates us from the wild animals. We don't all have to follow the pack to survive.

For anyone who's ever felt this way, BE YOU! Do You! And RESPECT That I AM ME!

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

#WriterWednesday: Why I Deleted My Tinder

Spoiler Alert: It's not for the reasons you are thinking. No, I am not off the market. I am not settling down with a studly man and moving into his Great Gatsby style mansion.

I got a Tinder account because my sister basically put a metaphorical gun to my head and blatantly seemed like she was concerned that I don't put myself out there enough.

I was perfectly okay with creating one because I love meeting new people and I like talking to people. Yet, I knew when I made the account, that I was never going to go on a date with any of the guys I talked on there with.

Why?

I don't like dating. And I know that comes off really weird simply because I have no experience with dating but it's because for the most part, I already know what I am looking for in a man and can tell if he's someone I can develop a relationship with even before we go on a date.

What's the secret?

Tinder is known for being a sex app. And people every day use it for that sole purpose. Yet, I wasn't one of those people.

See, for every guy that messaged me on there, I could instantly tell if he was just on there for sex and to buy me a drank, or if he really wanted to get to know me.

It's no mystery that guys don't really like texting. Yet, for me, if a guy can hold a descent conversation via text or in this case, Tinder, I will not only give him my number but I will also open up to him.

The true test of whether a guy is worth my time is how he reacts when he finds out I'm not only a writer but I'm already published.

As a girl who since my teens has a habit of obsessing and fangirling over guys I like (celebrity or average joes alike), I finally realized why Tinder didn't work for me.

When it comes down to it, one trait I am looking for in a potential mate or date is that they are willing to become my biggest fan. As a writer and also as a person, I face rejection every single day. Now I know I'm not alone there but still, it's a little hard to be me.

The reason I decided to delete my Tinder is because I was snapping and texting a few guys from Tinder about a new poem I wrote. The reason I told everyone about it is because I figured it wasn't a crime to share my writing with them. I had talked to them for a good month or so and figured what would be the harm in sharing a poem with everyone. I mean it was on my public blog.

As a result, I found out that a lot of the guys were not supportive in the slightest. A few wrote back: "Are you looking for more followers? others said, "Is this an ad?" It really hurt at first because they showed absolutely no interest in my writing and my writing is a reflection of me especially when it comes to poetry. With poetry, I really release a lot of emotions I've been experiencing.

One guy texted me this: It's a thought provoking piece that may or may not intimidate a prospective lover.

It all comes down to me being too intimidating. Ahahaha story of my life.

Well at least that guy was honest. Which is why I've deleted my Tinder.

When it comes to love, I'm not interested in settling at being anyone less than who I am:

Bold
Colorful
Creative
Emotional
Mouthy (especially when I have too much coffee)
Addicted to coffee
and reading a good book
lover of Jesus
doesn't trust people too easily
because of the rejection I've faced throughout my life
College educated
Loves working out but likes a good cookie or brownie every now and then
Dog guru

Who also happens to be someone who refuses to settle inside a man's shadow and I set out every day to do something to make my dreams a reality and in the meantime, I hope I inspire you to do the same, and be all you are and never let anyone tell you that you intimidate them or to tone down who you are for them.

Speaking of not giving up or toning myself down for anyone, I recently shared that I left Chanillo.com. Yet, I know a lot of you wanted to read my new re-write project, Kickflip My Heart.

You can do that here. ABSOLUTELY FREE I MIGHT ADD. So far, only the first two chapters are up but once I reach 100 views, I will add another installment.

Until next time remember,

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

#WriterWednesday: It's Not What You Think by @jeffersonbethke #BookReview

I got the book on Christmas Day as a gift from my sister. As someone who has been a fan of Bethke's work since this poem was posted by one of Facebook friends back in 2011,  I was so stoked for Jeff when he released his first book, Jesus >Religion, which I reviewed last year. The book went on to be a NYT bestseller. No surprise there. If you haven't read it, that's ok. His new book is in no way sequential to this one.

This book is just as good if not better because it makes Jesus the portrait and again takes all that you and I think about Christianity and dissects it in such a gentle way that it quickly becomes background noise to all that Jesus did, and who he really is. 

Who is the Jesus I met while reading Jeff's book? A Jesus who not only loves and cares for me but is always in pursuit of me, and encourages me like a best friend to become all that I can be but still manages to accept me just as he finds me. Even if that person is broken and feels like her life's purpose is becoming blurry instead of clear. 

On that note, I feel it's time for a story. 

Last week, on Monday my dryer officially broke. The timer stopped working and the dryer wouldn't run. Living without a dryer is bearable so I thought nothing of it since my family lives close to a laundromat. 

Tuesday was one of those days that could be considered the calm before the storm. I took the week off from writing and was watching Michael Cera movies which I hadn't watched in a long time. I think it was a subconscious decision. Before this week, it had been two weeks that I had been given any hours at Best Buy, and I was becoming nervous. 

The next morning, I took my usual shower only to wonder why the water was lukewarm. Turns out, our water heater completely crapped out. And just like the story usually goes, timing could not be any worse. The temperatures outside were dropping, much like my faith or expectations for the new year. A week later, I now know what hypotherma feels like as cold showers in the cold literally take your breath away. Later that day, I picked up my phone only to find two notifications flashed across the screen. 1 missed call from my supervisor at Best Buy, and one voicemail. I waited about five minutes before I dialed my voicemail in order to playback the message he left me. Yet, nothing could prepare me for the heavy weight his words would carry as he was calling to let me know that at this time, Best Buy wasn't going to hire me as a part-time employee. 

I'll be honest, I bawled my eyes out after that phone call. I laid all my cards out on the table, and was ready to fold. Best Buy was one of three money-making projects I'd been giving my time to, and of course, when I got hired, I knew that this wasn't a permanent career move but instead a stepping stone on the path to my destiny. Still, I needed that job because my freelance career hadn't been too fruitful as of late, and I was okay with it. I loved my merchandising job at Best Buy. It got me out of the house, and out of my head. It got me around like-minded people. 

So far, 2016 wasn't what I thought it would be. It was actually my worst new year yet.

After I finished crying, as I headed out to Chilis for a night out with my mom, I got an email notification on my phone.

I opened it outside my local Chilis only to see that Mandy Hale had replied to the email I sent her. (Cue the fangirl excitement and fanfare). I had asked her for help in what to do in order to further the process along in terms of getting representation for my memoir. She suggested I create a platform in order to show I'm an expert in what my memoir's themes are: dying love and my near-death experience. 

I'm pretty sure that's what I already showcase through this blog page but I decided I would bring it into the throne room and pray about it. God would let me know what I should do. 

Recently, my freelance career has been incredibly frustrating. I struggle with the art of surrendering control when it comes to my writing. Sure, I want my writing out there but I want the final say in how it is worded, as well as I don't take editing suggestions too fondly when I feel they come across as unnecessary and from someone who doesn't see the subject or piece the way I do. Since I wrote it, only I can know what I meant, how I saw the subject or person, what I want people to know about it. Lately, when writing articles, I felt as though I was a little child learning how to write her name for the first time. As much I saw my work as straight and a perfect fit along the three dotted lines of what they wanted me to write about, they kept slapping my hands and making me never want to write again. 

The only reason I became a freelance writer in the first place is because that was my only job option at the time. Now that I'm in the same boat again, I'd rather lay inside the boat and let the waves rock gently against the side of it until my new opportunity comes about and saves me from dying out at sea. 

2016 so far has taught me that a college degree is as fickle as sand in an hourglass in terms of securing you a job or even a career. 

So in order to follow the message of  Mandy Hale's upcoming book,Beautiful Uncertainty, I took a leap of faith toward making my dream of becoming a full-time writer a reality. I realized that people who love things in an obsessive way called philes. For example, if like me you love books, you would be considered a bibliophile. So I further explored this and found out some other philes I would consider myself: 

Cynophile: A dog lover (That one everyone knows)

Cinephile: A film lover

Melophile: A music lover

Considering I have a college degree and have always been very smart, I decided I would call myself The Smart Cookie, (this is also somewhat of an inside joke between me and Geniveve because during her life, I always used to call her that). 

Thus was born, my new site: https://thesmartcookiephiles.wordpress.com/

And you can even follow me on Twitter: @TSCPhiles.

I started this site in order to write my own review articles without feeling like I have to answer to anyone for what I write and how I write it. And I also hope it showcases my talent as a writer, and it ends up with a book deal for my memoir. 

I would appreciate your support. You can follow all my blog posts via email by following the instructions in the newest post. I will be posting two new reviews this Friday!

Even though all this is happening in my life right now, I still believe 2016 can turn around and will be a year of answered prayer. I also pray this for each of us: Thank you God for the strength to stop reliving the past, to start living in the present, and to walk in the beautiful certainty of knowing my future lies with you. -#BeautifulUncertainty

Until next time, remember: God can open doors of opportunity for you that no man can shut. When God shuts the door on you, no man can open it. -Joyce Meyer.

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

#WriterWednesday: How To Overcome Writer's Block

Behind every successful author is the book proposal they wrote to get their book considered for publication. Since it's been almost nine years since I first published my two YA novels and because I did not go the traditional route, I wasn't aware that you must write a book proposal for your book whether it be nonfiction or fiction.

So last week, I set out to begin writing my proposal but found I was looking Writer's Block right in the eyes. In case you are unfamiliar, writer's block is a hindrance a writer faces that is fear based.

How I Overcame my Writer's Block:

1. I worked on something else. My most productive day last week was when I wrote an additional chapter for my memoir and not my actual proposal.

2. I continued doing research and found a mock proposal to use as a guide for mine. A book proposal is a 30 to 50 page document telling an agent or publisher what your book is/will be about and also compiles marketing data for the market your book would fit in. ( You would have thought my marketing degree would have helped in this area except it hindered my creativity because I didn't know how to present the marketing data).

3.  I found that the source of my writer's block came from the rejection I faced in my beginnings of the search for a post-graduate job in my field. I overcame that rejection by writing My Poem: Perpetual Sadness, and studied my Bible and found the truth behind this current employment situation. I was listening to a Joyce Meyer teaching the other day and I found out that sometimes God wants us to use our faith to change ourselves instead of the situation, allowing God to help you become better. 

4. I received my monthly letter from Joel Osteen and in it he said:
            "In order to keep adversities, unfortunate experiences and tragedies from holding you back, choose to stir up what God placed on the inside of you. Meditate on the fact that: 

• You are a child of God.
• You've come too far to stop now.
• You will not allow your past to dictate your future.
• When God is on your side, anything is possible. 

5. Lastly, the other day I was reading Get Your Hopes Up by Joyce Meyer and she showed a scripture that was perfect for my situation.

So yes, I faced rejection and have in many different areas my whole life but I have faith that my breakthrough is coming and so I'm going to give my all to applying for work and toward writing my proposal because it is part of my God-given destiny.

In other news, I no longer have to go to a thyroid specialist because my thyroid levels have stabilized and I'm healthy enough to just go to one doctor again for all medical needs. On Monday I had my first well visit in three years and it went really well. Praise God!

Until next time, remember: May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us—  yes, establish the work of our hands. -Psalm 90:17

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

Writer Wednesday: What It Really Means To Be A Writer

Ok, so here I sit; Starring out at the sun halfway set glinting off the water in my pool, the sounds of nature really speaking to me. It's a weird concept to think about but really does anyone truly know what it's like to live the writer life. I thought, who better to talk about the writer life, than me, a writer.

Being a writer is the greatest job in the world. Half the time, I could be writing this naked and you wouldn't even know. I just made this awkward. I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that. Nine times out of ten, I write these things in the bummiest clothes I own. My spellcheck just said that bummiest wasn't a word so I added it to my computer's dictionary.

Yet, it's the most misunderstood job and the hardest to endure. Why? Because everyone assumes that when a writer is "writing," they are surfing the web, staring off into space, or in my dad's case, looking at porn. I have no personal comment on the third idea but the first two I darn well know I'm guilty of. And the saddest part of the matter is that a lot of young people today don't even read anymore. Apparently, the only thing they read is their social media newsfeed so if you are irrelevant by social media standards, you are irrelevant in their eyes, period.

For example, my family has always misunderstood me when I announced at the age of fourteen that I wanted to be a writer professionally. I heard things like:

There's no money in writing.
You can't just be a writer.
Does that mean you can write all my school papers for me free of charge?

Yet, these things didn't stop me. I've known since I was a young fourteen that writing was going to be the key to my greater destiny, my calling, the job where I could go everyday doing what I love and it would never feel like work.

The problem with the writer life is that, although it seems like a magic act, the job is an incredible amount of hard work and study. Since my creative writing class my freshman year of high school, I have studied the craft because I still don't believe I'm the best writer out there. One day, I will be. And no, it won't be when my book becomes a NYT best-seller. I will consider myself the best at my craft when people stop treating me like being a writer isn't my job.

Sure, my writing hasn't all been published yet or made millions but hey, I'm well on my way. Don't ever throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Every time I sit down to write, I get this feeling of intense butterflies, and if it's a good day of writing, the words just flow, and before I know it, I've written 2000 words.

Yet, the scary part about being a writer is not the writing part at all, but the revision part.

For example, the memoir that I'm currently writing is the most personal piece of writing I've ever worked on yet I constantly am nagged by an inner voice that it's not good enough.

I've let some trusted writing friends and non-writing friends read it through, and I just finished the first draft editing. I ended up cutting a good seven to eight thousand words out of the whole thing.
Granted, my current word count the last time I worked on it was over 67,000 but still, the scary part of writing is getting feedback on your work.

In a recent interview with the Writer Magazine, Ladette Randolph, author of  Leaving the Pink House, a memoir, states that she has "only three enemies: self-pity, false guilt and fear."

I don't always have all the answers but writing is how I make sense of the world. I feel better expressing my thoughts, feelings, and emotions with the world, even if later, I end up getting rejected for those same thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I guess all I can say about being a writer is that writing choose me, I never chose writing. Besides that, I've faced so much rejection in my personal life I guess I owe it to myself to stare rejection in the face on a daily basis and say, No matter what or who approves of my job title, I'm not giving up until one person has their life changed by the words that I write. 

You know what I mean? It's the same reason people save their books from their childhood because those words grabbed them by the shirt collar and spoke to the inner parts of their soul, and at the same time, sung them a lullaby. If, like me, the child suffered socially, then those characters in those books, such as Nancy Drew, Laura Ingalls, or even Peter Hatcher became the friends they wanted so badly to have every day at school in real life.

Now that I'm an adult, people are a little less judgmental in the sense that they judge you because you prefer books over partying. I've found a good group of people who are also word lovers.

Another aspect of every good writer's job is going on random adventures. Last week, the reason there was no blog post was because I was out with my sisters on the open road. To see more of our shenanigans, please Click here.

The day after the road trip, in all spring break spirit, I hit up the beach for a few hours with my sister so I could get a little Vitamin D.

This past weekend I went to see Boys Like Girls in concert so basically I think it is absolutely important for a writer to have a plethora of different experiences in order to write about this thing called life in a natural flowing way.

In essence, writing is much like the red cardinal that was peaking in at me through the screen cage on my patio. As a writer, I become the red cardinal, looking in on the world, and seeing it from multiple angles. The trick is to use just the right words to infuse atmosphere into the story or piece I'm creating; all while keeping my trademark tone of voice that I believe I bring to each and every fetus that is conceived within the confines of my mind and imagination.

Next time you see a writer, please remember to thank them for what they do, no matter if you understand it because one day, you may find yourself in need of the words they arrange like a symphony of sounds on a blank page.

Until next time, remember: "Try to be more yourself, not less yourself. It's a very hard thing to do. I don't want to apologize for being a dorky, nerdy, offbeat person. I'm not looking for the broad path. I'm looking for my path." - Ladette Randolph

Love Times Infinity,

Chelsea

xoxo

God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~

It's a Writer's World After All

My life has become a realistic fiction novel...This blog is for all those writers out there who have been told they aren't good enough or haven't yet been recognized for their talent. Go get'em! :)

So, last Friday I gave my books to Saint Leo's library in order for them to be checked out and read. Yesterday was a rough day for me. My donating my books became the mockery of the library. Let me explain.

Ok, I was told by the catalog librarian that the director of the library found them to be not academic enough for the library. Yet, they have Harry Potter on the shelves and Stephen King. *note sarcasm that follows* Right. That was the reason.

So, now my books are being put in an archive collection for student's of Saint Leo who have published works or books. They may never be looked at or read. I hope you just shed a tear especially all my fellow writers out there. That is the worst thing a writer can ever be told that their work may never be read.

The reason I became a writer is because I'm a soft spoken girl who has a lot to say about a lot of things and have a grace to write words to heal, inspire, and motivate and move people. My words are not meant to be written and collect dust.

I also became a writer because growing up I found more and more young people don't like to read. That's so sad to me because when I was in elementary school and on days when I felt I had no friends, the characters in my books became my friends. Yeah, I know that sounds like I'm some pathetic antisocial loser but that's far from what I am. ;-)

Books are the key to giving children imaginations and inspiring them that they can believe in anything and it can be possible. Dreams do come true. Maybe not overnight but they slowly come to manifestation if you have faith.

Without writers the world would probably be a boring place.

Southpark would not be possible without the writers who write the plot line and dialog for the episodes. Basically any show you watch would not be possible without writers. Yes, even reality shows need writers. Sometimes scenes need to be narrated and those narrations have to be simple and to the point. You can thank a writer for all those narrated voiceovers Ryan Sheckler did throughout his show, Life of Ryan.

The same goes for movies. Every movie has a script that is given to all involved in it. Either a screen WRITER takes a novel and adapts it into a movie or someone comes up with an idea for a movie and writes the entire thing. Now, no movie these days would be complete without the editors as well as the special effect people but most of those people are directed by what the script tells them to do.

Today, more and more singers are expected to be singer/songwriters but some stars still have their songs written for them. Celine Dion for instance is an amazing vocalist but all of her songs were written by other people. If those writers didn't exist, Celine Dion would not exist in the music industry.

So, I would like you right now to go open a book, watch a movie, or watch a tv show or in the rare case that you feel crazy inspired try doing all three one right after the other, and when you're done, stand up and thank and applaud all the writers.

Oh and before I leave you with a final thought let me say that this blog is not me giving up writing. No way. I've come this far with God's help. There's no reason to just throw it all away. Plus, the unreleased third novel I recently finished is a for sure best seller. Just ask the few people I let read it if they liked it. :) So, no worries, loves. Chelsea DeVries is here to stay♥

Until next time, remember it's a writer's world after all. :)

Love Times Infinity,
Chelsea
xoxo
God Bless!

~Just Keep Swimming~